Smarty in NZ

Dedicada a (muchos) de los chicos de hoy

2006-10-12T01:26:00.000+13:00

No entiendo por que,
has salido a la calle tu tan fresco,
y dime
porque...te has tirado tres horas en el espejo...

pa ponerte guapo
pa ligar..para ir a la calle y no PIENSAS
que eso ya da igual, que ya no vas
a impresionar...
que lo BUENO y lo que importa esta en
los..

BESOS y eso es lo que quieeeero besos.... todas la mañanas,
me despierten besos!
Sea por la tarde y siga habieeeendo
BESOS...
luego por la noche que me den mas besos pa cenar

Y
dime porque, te echas mil cremas por el cuerpo
si no se te ve y se te
han olvidao los sentimientos
Tienes que empezar por resolveeeer...lo que
tienes dentro
y no PIENSAS casi en los DEMAS..
que mas dara si mal o bien,
mucho metrosexual y faltan BESOS
y eso es lo que quiero
...

BESOS y eso es lo que quieeeero besos.... todas la mañanas,
me despierten besos!
Sea por la tarde y siga habieeeendo
BESOS... luego por la noche que me den mas besos pa cenaaaaaaar
Y parate a
ver, que los que te quieren no miran eso
solo quieren ver, ese guiño de ojos
sin complejos.

(gracias canto del loco)

Life in Spain

2006-10-12T01:23:00.000+13:00

Bueno pues aqui estoy, de vuelta en España y de vuelta al Español.
Hoy os dejo con una frase que me parece muy cierta....

Quien no sabe lo que quiere es porque no quiere lo que tiene

Hair Analogy

2006-05-02T12:16:00.000+12:00

Wind can't change me, although it may seem more powerful; it is no match for me.
I dance in the air, while it temporarily attempts the impossible:
to permanently affect something that lives in the moment.

A good way of thinking toward those things (or people) in life that try to bring us down and make us something we don't want to be (angry, frustrated, insecure...).

8 weeks to go

2006-05-02T11:56:00.000+12:00

I can't believe I haven't yet mentioned this... I'm actually moving back to Europe in 8 weeks!
First will spend a couple of months in Spain (haven't been back in 4 years, yikes!) then heading to London...exciting times!
So, Smarty in NZ, will be Smarty in New Zealand no more... which means a possible change in blog title, along with more fun photos to keep in touch with friends and other curious people around the world.
So, counting down from this week, each week I will highlight the feelings and thought that arise knowing I'm leaving NZ (as no doubt there will be some reflecting going on).

Becoming Extraordinary

2006-04-24T11:06:00.000+12:00

Once an experience has structure and meaning, the emotional effects of that experience may be more manageable. Constructing STORIES facilitates a sense of resolution which results in less rumination and eventually allows disturbing experiences to gradually subside from conscious thought.

quote from a book I saw at the library...

Stories are however just that, stories. They have the potential to create or destroy depending on what our stories are. It's important to reach a point where we can realise the myths we live under in our life. Only then will we see where our constraints lie, and only then will we cross the limits from being ordinary to becoming extraordinary human beings.

Joke of the Week

2006-04-21T12:50:00.000+12:00

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

Freaky Photo Transformation

2006-04-21T12:27:00.000+12:00

My friend Grant took this pic and then played around with it giving it this awesome Sin City Twist... don't worry folks, i don't quite look this evil when i get up in the morning!!

Back to the Present

2006-04-20T20:17:00.000+12:00

Feels like I've been to hell and back over the last year of my life... but despite the trip from hell I'm back. Over the last while I've been mostly keeping to myself, spending a lot of time alone and also getting the help I needed to get myself back on track.. in the 'feel good' zone. Not 100% there yet, but not far to go either.

I've also learnt (in first person) about the stigma associated with having a mood disorder and the difficulties that can create in life, because it seems the thing to do to 'label' people who have depression or other disorders as people that can't function or are disabled. But it's all a load of shit... there are plenty of people that suffer from depression and other kinds of disorders that have the balls to do stuff that plenty of 'non-depressed' people wouldn't. Yeah, you might not be clinically diagnosed as being depressed but that still doesn't necessarily mean that you function normally in society. In fact, I doubt anyone actually functions 100% anyway, we all have our weak spots... some people are violent, others overeat, others are judgemental, others subtance abusers, others can't express how they feel... these things don't allow people to function normally so to say, yet if these things don't get diagnosed or labelled with 'turrets syndrome' or 'anorexic' or 'druggie' then they don't mean a thing to society. It's so bloody easy to use a label to put someone down or make them different; that we forget we are all blood and flesh, all prone to illness and grief, we all love and we all die.

I'm so happy to be back. Today, right now I really feel like I'm back, wanting to be here, happy to be alive, accepting of the past no matter what, and loving this little bit of earth I walk on called Aotearoa. Yes, I've suffered from depression... but name one person that hasn't suffered from something...

With that I'll finish off today... more to come soon

X

November Post

2005-11-13T20:31:00.000+13:00

I didn't do Miss University, I decided it was a dumb idea so I phoned and said no, and then got into a fight the next friday night and some guy punched me and possibly broke my nose. Got a wee scr there. What a wanker, I could have had a swing at him but I didn't, I was just trying to break up a fight. Ended up at making a statement with the cops on manners, got home pretty late, nose was pretty sore. Talk about fun Fridays... yeah right.

So anyway, October sucked big time. Apart from things with Aaron. This has been the only good thing in my life lately.

Tomorrow is my last exam, and I've done fuck all study (for any of my four exams).
Life has been depressing so i've chosen not to write about it for the last while.

The best thing I have done lately has been a song I wrote a few weeks ago.
And the only thing in my life that's unconditional is Aaron, the only person who has never given up on me, no matter what.

Apparently I'm getting through my degree, I'm quite puzzled as I really don't know how it's happening, certainly not due to efforts made on my behalf. My motivation has been as high as my mood. You wouldn't know it, cause I'm generally the life of the fucking party wherever I go, I'm always 'doing good' and so cheery and happy. But inside lately I've just been shattered. And the only thing that has kept me sane has been Aaron.

I've been suffering from depression since July and it's not really what one would call a breeze. Some days you just lie in bed and don't go to class, don't wanna see anyone, don't wanna pick up the phone or answer the door. Just stay in bed all day wondering what the point of my existence is and why I feel so unhappy with the life I've been given. And then I feel really guilty because so many people have it so much worst. But still, can't shake off those down feelings, the thoughts that the whole fucking universe is against me.

And so, I plan my week, try to plan things that I look forward to doing, but I never seem to come up with many. Then I lose complete control when I'm out and just buy whatever I feel like, no control... whatever will give me a few minutes of happiness will do. And everything is a fucking obligation, nothing is fun anymore... everything requires shit to be done, from uni, to an appointment with a life coach, to seeing my family, who are like a dagger in my heart.

But I don't give up. I don't fucking give up, I wont do it. I never have. I'm sick things the way they are but I'm going to change them. That's what I'm doing. But I'm not ok, not now. What's more, it's OK to NOT BE OK. So if I don't get in touch with people, or find trouble making good conversation or I'm not going out when I always 'do the right thing' and 'am there'... then tough. Now is the time for me, not for my mother, not for some possessive relationship, not for pretending everything's ok or talking about what's not ok.

I can't be bothered pretending, so I'm not going to. Sometime I'll find my way out of this state, but for now, while I'm in it, I'm going to be doing what I feel like doing not always what i 'should be doing'. It's just what I've decided... the only thing that's going to make this a bit more bearable.

Miss University...

2005-09-25T22:43:00.000+12:00

Well, I've been away for a while but I'm back in blogland, ie Smarty NZ arena. The latest? Well, as you may have guessed, I'm a bit of a nutter and I've been talked into entering a comp called 'Miss University'.

I'm not exactly the most dedicated student, but hey I do have passion for my study and my partying (and those are pretty important things in the student life). So anyway, who knows? i could be strutting my stuff at Coyotes sometime soon. My whole fixation/inspiration is to do with a trip to New York the winner will be getting. In honesty, modelling and fashion is pretty boring shit, I just like being me and doing and wearing the things that I like (not what Vogue says). And that aint gonna change mates... they can take it or leave it. But, I also thought it would be fun to give it a go and have a laugh with the whole thing, as one cannot take this sort of thing seriously.

So, will keep you posted on this whole thing, I've only just entered online now, and may or may not get a chance to go in the thing (the heats are happening next thursday) so yeah, no idea what will be of all this.

Apart from these hilarious attempts to get a free trip to the US, I am pretty happy in love with my babe who is none the less than Aaron... yes, back on track and pretty stoked. I think once you find the right person, everyone else somehow changes, and that's kinda what's happened... (or at least I think!). He never really left my heart and so it's good that we are trying to make things work again. I found being single was really exhausting and even though it was good being around my friends which are great, and meeting new people...deep down I think I just wanted to love and be loved again. So yeah, this is getting pretty cheesy but that's what's been going on.

So yeah, all loved up, trying to keep up with uni... AND just had a whitening job done on my teeth... about to have a reconstruction on four teeth and i have managed to wear them down in my sleep (clenching and grinding,aargh!).

Apart from all this, stuff's ok... will get my camera back from Melita sometime and actually use it and post some photos again!

;-) Smarty

2005-08-31T13:03:00.000+12:00

NO,the earth hasn't swallowed me whole...
2 assignments down and 2 to go... aargh! :S

I'LL BE BACK!

(Smarty, at last minute assignment completion, overdosed on coffee and jaffas)

2005-08-24T15:30:00.000+12:00

Let me accept that in my life which I can't change,
change the things I dislike which I can change
and the wisdom to know the difference between both

Proverb

Everyone is going to Spain

2005-08-22T08:33:00.000+12:00

Ok, so not everyone. But it seems that a lot of the people I know are either going to Spain soon or have just got back (with a tan... bastards!). Thinking about it yesterday, I should be free to go from the 15th November through to February (which is actually a hell of a long time). So I'm thinking, if we're in August (month #8) and November is month #11... that means there's only about three months left before I might be there. The thing is it'll be winter there but I think it'll still be better than only going for 3 or 4 weeks in july. I am almost feeling excited about going, but not quite. I just don't get enthusiastic about anything lately. When I'm in NZ for a certain period of time my enthusiasm for stuff takes a hike. I love this place, but I do get depressed here. Maybe it's the weather, who knows? I'm sick of cold, sick of winter. Anyway in summary - if you just got back from Spain or are going anytime soon, (just so you know) you're not the only one, all these other people in Wellington have been busy doing exactly the same fricking thing. And yeah, you'll have the urge to tell me about it, (quite possibly) but don't expect me to be surprised. It's like the thing to do lately. In the seventies it was flares, now it's go to Spain. Weird stuff; 'trends'.

Wellington-ness

2005-08-11T12:44:00.000+12:00

At times when I'm in the city, I feel something; the best word to describe it would be Wellington-ness. I know, it's not even a word, but that's how undescribable it is. It surrounds me, every inch of my body. I realise I'm breathing it in at every gasp, stepping on one of its paths, inhabiting some corner of its being. I'm trapped in its energy, and the powerful Wellington-ness feeling overwhelms me. I wonder how long I have been prisoner to its spell, was it two or three years ago that I fell into this state or have I always somehow been subtly affected by this place without even knowing it. It certainly feels like a lifetime. Like a spiral, it engages me into feeling I have never been outside of this place, of this Wellington world; and that I will never leave it again. So I think to myself, 'God, I've gotta get out of here'; to remember life in other places, yet at the same time I know that means leaving a part of myself. This feeling is a blend of the city with me and me with the city, I belong to the city just like it belongs to me. In its buses, on its sidewalks, sitting in its cafes, I seek myself each day and Wellington is always part of my answer. I cannot envision the life away from here, although it will come, yet I cannot see it for what it is: something real that will happen. I have my Wellington goggles on, like a lover who cannot see past her beloved, caught up in the emotion of its urban romance, the familiarity of its streets and buildings, the built-up anxiety of seeing it once more after leaving it. All I see is who I am today, and who I am is, in a big part: Wellington.

Mobile-ise

2005-08-08T19:50:00.000+12:00

How do I say all this without it sounding too ironic??

VODAFONE brings out free texting on weekends between Vodafone mobiles, so of course we have the odd weekend where people overdo it and delays occur. No biggie in the grand scheme of things, as there's too much text-homework going round as it is.
Yes, the volume of Vodafone texts has multiplied by a zillion. Now you can get free updates from your friends at regular intervals of the weekend (ie: every eight minutes). And of course, what kind of mate doesn't allocate some texts back providing feedback on this much needed information? Darn! I do it, he does it, she does it, we all do it... this should be a Nike advert.

So: weekend just got a hell of a lot busier with all this text labour that phone companies have created. I mean, is making it free a good or a bad thing? And what the fuck happened to the famous "I had no credit left" excuse? Someone obviously didn't get a text reply at some point and it didn't go down well at all. They must have got so peeved at the prepay limits and hearing the good old "I was out of credit hon" they got the IOU things running.

So, too bad if you don't want credit, they'll give you some when you've only got 17 cents left. Too bad if you want to enjoy your weekend and not spend 48 hours on texting marathons... cause it's FREE, mate! Is there anything better or worse than that?? (Yes, the irony stands).

Dear TELECOM have the $10 text deal, where you pay ten bucks a month and get ache-y thumbs until the end of 2006. The guy on the add on tv will tell you about it until your ears ache, he's going through the New Zealand census one by one, ensuring everyone's onto it, even the poor guy that just wants to have a fricking shower.

Yes folks, in the last 3 months things have gotten outta hand (ironically the mobile is always in the hand). Vodafone people have gone (I include myself) absolutely nuts when it comes to texting. We're now used to texting until our thumb is blistered, and of course: texting so much even when it's not weekends or Vodafone (your mind literally ends up losing track of what day of the fricking week it is or who's on what network). This of course in Vodafone terms comes at a cost. Because friends on the Telecom network do it everyday of the week and it's ten bucks for the month, no matter to who. But if I do that on Vodafone it's seventy bucks for that month. Not funny, I can tell you that much. And it wont happen again.

Now I have TWO phones. Telecom to use mid week, the Vodafone one remains, and I will wisely administer its use to weekends to text to Vodafone people. I don't have twice as many friends, but I do have two technological trash or treasures (depending on how you view this whole thing).
So now I can text to two people at the same time if I need to. Or even better, talk to one on one phone and text another... and maybe while Im at it, with one mobile pegged between my right ear and and my right shoulder, the other mobile in my right hand while I send a message, I guess I could type some emails with my left hand. Productivity just went up 300% .... shame about losing my sanity along the way.

So yeah, if you thought I was going to stop texting then you're wrong. I'm addicted to this information now. It's about people I know, in my city, it's very up to date, and in some cases it's hilarious, others it's worrying. Love texts, bitchy texts, goss texts, even random ones from someone that got the wrong number... they are a hell of a lot more fun than Big Brother, One News, and most of the other current entertainment. Probably why I've been on the net so little lately. Sorry blog, the affair with the mobile phone has taken over... Forget the television and the news, forget the internet, our new reality entertaining machine is here... Good lighting not required - all you need is a fit thumb and every now and then some dollars and a bit of electricity.

2005-08-04T10:59:00.000+12:00

Dinner at Ana's - Close Encounters with a Ukele... "Yo soy Antonio Banderas y sus voy a contar...la la la la" you get my drift ahe?

Blender from Hell (Read it to Believe it)

2005-08-01T01:04:00.000+12:00

(Folks, health comes at a price, and here is a prime example.)

There I was standing in my kitchen, poor innocent me just wanting to have a healthy drink before my morning jog on the treadmill. The impeccable bench gleamed back at me as I placed Sam's blender near the power point. After setting up the evil food chopping assasin I placed some celery, carrot, apple, banana and kiwifruit inside. The last kiwifruit I had in the fruit bowl.
Little did I know that it would end up down the drain.
As I switched on the appliance I held the lid on tightly, with every confidence in this technology to provide me with a nutricious breakfast. After a few seconds only, I was stunned to hear a clankety clank reminiscent of someone trying to chop up a vaccuum cleaner with a hammer as opposed to a 10 cm diametre blade slicing through the foods. Yet I remained hopeful and full of faith that the crappy old thing would do it's fricking job. By the end of the 'techno music session' perpetuated mysteriously by this apparatus that said "Blender" on the box, I remained skeptic that the function of this machine was not that of making a big racket. Perhaps it could have been more melodic; but I had certainty that somebody would find it exciting after popping a few party pills. Unsuspecting I was, but apart from the noise my faith in the stupid thing flew out the window when from the base of the jug all the contents of the chunky thick green drink started to spill out, propagating everywhere: the machine base and dials, the bench, my white trackpants and grey t-shirt my white sport shoes, the recently mopped floor, the kitchen wall, the side of the cupboard, the electric kettle, the 4litre tin of Olive Oil, down the side of the bench between the bench and the oven...
Quite a while later (attempting to guess how long cleaning this shit took me would be difficult) I poured the bit that was left in the jug into a glass and proceeded to (like in CSI) investigate the causes of this otherwise fucking paranormal phenomena. In the drink there appeared to be distinctive countless tiny white bits which didn't belong there. As it turns out, a round plastic piece that held the blade in place had cracked, broken and gotten 'blended' with the ingredients in the blender. The gap this missing piece had left made the drink go everywhere and the rest (along with my morning, my clean clothing, my intention to exercise) was history.

Of course, you try telling this to someone and get taken seriously. I mean: I don't think Sam believed me when I told him what happened to his blender.

Bits n Pieces

2005-08-01T00:21:00.000+12:00

Something different: I've almost decided that I would like to take up swimming... get actual lessons and get somewhat good (or as good as I can). So that's kinda the latest thing that's been going on.

Uni caf has been finished and it's all looking good... just need a bunch of people to hang out there with. Everyone seems to have misplaced the importance for hanging out at the uni caf/bar after class and I'm seriously considering putting some signs up reminding people that IT'S NOW OR NEVER, you can't be a student forever!

French: (language) is going ok, I think my mean neighbour John is getting a bit annoyed at hearing me read out loud in French. I don't exactly plug the microphone into the amp and yell it out, it's more a thing about the fact that the guy has no life and he's always grumpy/mean/nasty/(insert favourite insult here).

Show of the Season: "Desperate Housewives". Pablo, I wish you were here baby! That show is as good as NZ tv gets lately (can't really complain, it could be worse!).

Question: Why are there so many series based in hospitals? I think nurses and doctors are overrated; and PATIENTS (ie: people who are sick!) DON'T MAKE PARTICULARLY GOOD EYE CANDY. When will they learn???

Changes and Stuff

2005-07-25T17:33:00.000+12:00

Well, not a very original title... apologies. Well, I would love to keep up writing in both languages, but I'm not going to for a while... main reason being 'feasibility'.
Now I could make up a shitload of reasons why I should just stick to writing in English, but i'm not going to. It's my blog and I'm just going to be honest about it. I can't be bothered right now.
It's just too tireing at this stage, and one person can only be processing info in a certain number of idioms per week before they start going a bit loony... and trust me, I really don't need any more help to come up with random stuff.

So for now, I'm going back to sticking with English blog, and that way I wont be so lazy updating it. Because generally I'm quite good, but lately stuff has really gotten on top of me.

That's the update for now... tomorrow I will talk about how i broke a blender AND made carrot/celery/banana juice with little bits of plastic mixed in (it wasn't easy, but I'm a pro now)

All for now... Smarty ;)

******************************

El resumen es el siguiente... por el momento no voy a continuar escribiendo en ambos idiomas, voy a continuar en ingles y mas adelante ya se vera. Ultimamente he tenido poco tiempo para ponerme al dia con cosas y en estos momentos la pereza que gana y bueno voy a limitarme a un idioma, que si bien es algo un tanto normalito y aburrido tambien me permite retener la cordura y asi no me hago ningun cacao mental.

pd - el semestre pasado curse aleman y este semestre he cursado frances... alomejor esto permite comprender mi situacion...

Mysteries of the Mind's Thoughts...

2005-07-21T15:01:00.001+12:00

In the morning, there's you...
In the sunset, there's you....
After midnight, there's you....
In the sight of something beautiful, there's you.
When I feel happy, there's you,
When I feel love, there's you.

How can it be otherwise, if my mind
serves my heart and my heart is yours?

Catching up with life... and the blog. Poniendome al dia con la vida misma, y con el Blog..

2005-07-12T14:12:00.000+12:00

The trip - exhausting but productive! I'm back in town now with a cold, sitting at home in my pjs, but it's been an amazing time around New Zealand in the last ten days.
The great news of last week - I passed everything! That is an A- in Creative Writing, a B+ in Psych and a wonderful rounded C for German. Someone out there must like me and assisted in the not so little miracle of passing German!!!!

I didn't in the end take any photos at the 85th on Sunday, I was feeling a bit hungover and forgot to get the camera out (!) but it was up in Kapiti and went all well, we managed to avoid noise control hehe.

*********************

El viaje super cansado, pero muy productivo. Ya estoy de vuelta en la capital, con un catarrazo, sentada en casa con el pijama puesto a las dos y veinte de la tade... pero el viaje por Nueva Zelanda de los ultimos diez dias ha sido fantastico.
La gra noticia de la semana pasada fueron las notas - aprobe todo! Es decir un sobresaliente bajo en escritura creativa, un notable alto en psycologia y un bien en aleman... aleluya!

Al final no saque fotos del cumple de mi abuelo el domingo, tenia un poco de resaca y ni me acorde de sacar la camara del bolso! pero fue en la costa de Kapiti (norte de Wellington, costa oeste) y fue bastante bien... no arrestaron a nadie por escandalo publico...jejeje...

2005-07-12T13:43:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 9th July - Return Home via West Coast, north Punakaiki before Westport turnoff

2005-07-12T13:42:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 9th July - Punakaiki

2005-07-12T13:41:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 9th July - Punakaiki Pancake Rock Formations

2005-07-12T13:22:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 8th July - Franz Joseph Glacier

2005-07-12T13:03:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 8th July - West Coast, Fox Glacier

2005-07-12T12:59:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 8th July - West Coast, Waterfall on side on the road!

2005-07-12T12:55:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 8th July - Lake Wanaka Panoramic

2005-07-12T12:41:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 7th July - Queenstown

2005-07-12T12:40:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 7th July - Queenstown

2005-07-12T12:38:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 7th July - Arrowtown

2005-07-12T12:36:00.000+12:00

July Travels - South Island Foggy Road

2005-07-12T12:34:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 7th July - Lake Tekapo

2005-07-12T12:33:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 7th July - Lake Tekapo

2005-07-12T12:31:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 7th July - Lake Benmore "Dogs Corner"

2005-07-12T12:26:00.000+12:00

July Travels - On the Road

2005-07-12T12:24:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 7th July - Kawarau Gorge, Central Otago - Gold Fields Mining Centre

2005-07-11T10:41:00.000+12:00

July Travels - (5th July) South Island - Kaikoura!

2005-07-11T10:36:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 2nd July - Dessert Road and Mount Ruapehu...'bit chilly with all that snow!

2005-07-11T10:26:00.000+12:00

July Travels - 1st July - Lake Taupo (still there)

Sara and Melita's ABFAB combo BIRTHDAY PARTY...

2005-06-28T13:16:00.000+12:00

Birthday photos click HERE!! *** CLICK AQUI para ver FOTOS del cumple

Dearest Smart-y Bloggers,

At last I have some internet time to post these pics and update the blog!
My life has been more crazy lately than the usual standard 'crazy'.
Here I am in the fotos with two fanta-bulous women that threw quite the party and I had quite the time of my life.

EXAMS - My exams have been and gone now, and I managed to pull myself together (thanks to Rob for listening to my Monday morning over the phone nervous break-down and for the encouragement, couldn't of done it with you).
And thanks to an A4 sheet of paper with "That's bullshit, I'm going to PASS, ya hear?" which I stuck on my wall next to desk so everytime I have the terrible thoughts that I couldn't do it I would look up and get on with it.
As Melita would say.... BUILD A BRIDGE, AND GET OVER IT!
So, I managed to study despite the last minute-ness of it all and everything that's been going on. As a result of my poor German levels I ended up writing an essay for my exam in which I said I had been to Taupo recently to play tennis with my mother and that I enjoyed playing soccer with my brother (not that i have one, but hey). Goes to show when you have very limited language resources you say things you would never actually say otherwise. It resulted in me nearly getting kicked out of the examination venue after bursting into a loud laughing fit when re-reading my bizarre essay.

FLAT UPDATE - Melita moved out on Saturday and the new flatmate Sam moved in. As a consequence the flat is now looking pretty empty! It's a fairly drastic change but all for the best, or so we hope. Cleanign, packing, shifting, cleaning, partying, hardly no sleeping and watching MR and MRS Smith and Batman Begins have been part of the last week.

TRAVEL STUFF - leaving Wellie on Friday, bloggers... away all of next week. I'll be heading up to Taupo, then my grandad's 85th bday on Sunday followed by travel down to South Island on Monday with one of the most fabulous people I know - mum! So expect the odd photo collection when I get back... some Taupo shots, some 85th bday wild party shots (fingers crossed everyone keeps their false teeth in their mouth at all times!) and some South Island amazing discoveries brought to you by a Sony Cybershot lense.

As for the L word, I am so happy with life.. I'd like for life to be like this forever... to freeze things so they can stay like this... to have so many great people and just enjoy every moment.
No longer a Bridget Jones if I ever was one. I'm not here to find one person, I'm here to find life, love and learning in many people and many ways. So here's to life, love and people.
No more seeking out the end of the rainbow... instead I'm colouring in every piece of my life with great experiences and people.

Interesting times ahead is all I can say for now....

All for now, take care...
All my love

;-)
Smarty

*****************************************************************

Queridos blogger adictos,

Por fin tengo tiempo de meterme en internet, poner las fotos y actualizar el blog.
Mi vida ha sido un tanto mas alocada de lo habitual...

EXAMENES - los examenes me trajeron ataques de ansiedad pero he sobrevivido! Todo fue ultimo momento pero afortunadamente he conseguido ponerme las pilas y estudiar... he hecho lo mejor que he podido y eso es lo importante, no?
Lo que peor me fue, fue el examen de aleman... bueno que risa porque acabe escribiendo una redaccion en la que ponia que habia ido a jugar al tennis con mi madre a Taupo y que me gustaba mucho jugar al futbol con mi hermano. Una sarta de sandeces pero como mi vocabulario es tan limitado pues no me quedo otra!!!

LA CASA - el sabado se mudo Melita y vino un flatmate nuevo, se llama Sam. Como consecuencia del cambio la casa ha quedao super vacia... pero tambien ha quedado muy limpia ya que obviamente he aprovecha para hacer lo que aqui denominamos "Spring Cleaning" osea, limpieza a saco. El baño parece el baño del Mister Proper y el salon es de estilo minimalista.

VIAJES - Me marcho a Taupo (casualidad de la vida que puse en la redaccion lo de Taupo y ahora resulta que me voy para alla!) enfin el viernes me marcho y regreso el domingo para el cumple de mi abuelito que ya hace ochenta y cinco años. El lunes me voy con la formidable Doña Katy, usease la mia mama hacia la isla sur. Conque volvere con fotitos del lagito, el cumple loco con los de la tercera edad y fotitos del sur.

En temas de amorios, que os puedo contar? Estoy feliz de la vida con la gente que tengo en mi vida... no busco nada puesto que todo lo que buscaba lo tengo: cariño y amistad. Lo demas todo se vera y ya vendra si viene. Y si no viene que no venga, que yo no espero.

Esto es todo por ahora, hasta la proxima: cuidate!

Con todo mi cariño,

;-)

Smarty

2005-06-20T13:27:00.000+12:00

Coming Soon... Melita and Sara's Birthday Party Photos

What's going on? Exams, see Proof "A" below. Te preguntas que pasa conmigo? Estoy de examenes (refierase a la prueba/figura "A" abajo)

2005-06-13T19:43:00.000+12:00

Sample "A"(Figura "A")

Proof "A": Sample of Desk in use through the terrifying menace
of the exams coming up this week and next.
-note: no desks were harmed in the making of this post (yet)

Thanks for reading this post. If you happen to swing by any religious institution in the next 72 hours PLEASE light a little candle for my exam success.
Through profound religious knowledge and research, it would be beneficial if
you could light this candle to 'San Milagroso Bonoloto de la Primitiva', which is an ancient hebrew name that no one knows the meaning of, for a Saint who can apparently visit you in your dreams telling you the exam answers the night before the exam. Thought this could come in handy.
Just as a reminder, please be respectful of the chapel/sanctuary and be firewise, take a fire extinguisher with you in case stuff gets out of hand.
The spiritual services department at Dalai Lama's hot line have advised me
it's bad luck to burn down any form of structure, so please stick to the candle lighting. Ie: no fireworks in the church etc.

For every candle you light, you will receive a pleasant surprise. This will
happen even if you are not a pyromaniac. Please make sure you don't email
this to anyone. If you do, your friends will think you're a freak.

*********************

Muestra "A": Ejemplo de mesa escritorio en uso debido a los
examenes que se acercan.
-nota: ningun escritorio fue dañado en la realizacion de este
post (hasta el momento)

Gracias por leer este post, si pasa usted por alguna capilla le agradeceria
encienda una velita a San Milagroso Bonoloto de Primitiva, que si bien ganar la loto queda como el milagrito padre, pues el de que yo apruebe todo queda por ahi cerca. Pero no se pase, eh?
Haga el favor, no sea borrico y no incendie usted la capilla eh? Ojo...que los de atencion al espiritu en vela de la linea 900 del Dalai Lama me han comunicado que eso trae mala suerte.
Ale! ale... a poner velitas que es pa hoy.. por cada velita que ponga recibira una agradable sorpresa. Esto funciona aun si usted no es siquiera piromano. Por favor no re-envie esto por email a nadie. Pienselo bien: si lo hace, sus amigos sin duda pensaran que usted no tiene vida.

The E word (Exams) ...."Examenes": sustituto ideal de metodos de tortura de prisioneros de guerra.

2005-06-08T16:38:00.000+12:00

Not much to say today. I feel like next week I'll be getting a lethal injection as opposed to sitting down and writing answers to questions. Why do exams have such bad side effects???

***************

No tengo mucho que contar hoy. Siento que la semana que viene me van a dar una inyeccion letal en lugar de unas preguntitas a las que responder. Por que sientan tan mal los examenes?

If you don't know the subject, don't ask technical questions guys! Si no tienes ni idea no hagas preguntas tecnicas!

2005-06-07T10:51:00.000+12:00

Male friend: Do you dye your hair?
Smarty: Uhm..yes, I do.
MF: So what's your natural hair colour?
Smarty: It's pretty much the colour you see...
MF: (puzzled and derranged look) HUuuuHhhh???!
Smarty: I've decoloured my hair a fair bit in the past so nowadays I get the hairdresser to put streaks of
my natural colour in there, but it does wash out eventually.
MF: you what? it does what? the what?
Smarty: soooorry... I forgot you were a guy!!

****************

Amigo: Tu te tiñes el pelo?
Smarty: esto... si, si me tiño
Amigo: Entonces, cual es tu color natural?
Smarty: Mas o menos el que ves.
Amigo: (mirada de asombro) Como??????
Smarty: Me he decolorado el pelo bastante en el pasado, conque hoy por hoy mi peluquera me echa mechas de mi color natural... pero con el tiempo suele aclararse.
Amigo: Que que? Con que? Haces el que?
Smarty: Lo siento... me olvide que eres un tio!!

****************************

;-)

Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Greenday)

2005-06-06T13:19:00.000+12:00

(Can't stop singing along to this...no me quito la cancioncita de la cabeza)

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's only me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the blvd of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the olny one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I'll walk alone...

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere I my mind
On the border line of the edge
And were I walk alone

Read between the lines what's
F**ked up and every things all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I walk alone, I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk away!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The "R" words... R-espect, R-eliability / La Crisis de la Semana

2005-06-03T13:14:00.000+12:00

I've had a bit of an issue recently and would thank some outside input (ie: would you care to shine a light on this?). I have almost decidedly made up my mind (as I have a well defined sense of right and wrong) BUT I am an open minded woman and happy to listen to other opinions... just in case I'm being 'uncompromising'. So here's the deal:

This friend of mine... organises something, and tells me about it and i say 'ok' - what happens? I go along with it. I've given my word. That's what people do, right?
Apparently NOT! With this particular 'time-trampler' it doesn't.
So of course, I (sometimes the biggest moron on the planet) still keep my word. And then the cycle renews itself and this person does the same thing to me again, time after time.
And I wouldn't get AS PISSED OFF if it weren't for the fact that this person is making me seem unreliable with OTHER PEOPLE. (ie my friends).
I wont have any of this !! @@##!$##%%^^^*&^$%#^%$

Once we've agreed to something, I ensure that I contribute as necessary so the event takes place. If I've agreed to be there, I am. If I've agreed to be elsewhere, I do. If something gets in the way - I work around it to please as many parties as possible, but the priority is to keep my word/commitment. (Obviously life or death situations would take precedence in any circumstance and would be overlooked, but this is not the case with these).

What does this friend do? Well, whatever the fuck they want.
If it's convinient, this friend goes along with it, but lately more often than not it's just not convinient.
ie: friend agrees, you've gotten other people involved in this event and then this person turns round and says 'oh, i don't think i can make it anymore, can you move it to..x day'?
to which I respond 'NO! I asked you 5 fricking times and you said YES and know you want ME to muck people around because you feel like doing something else?'. NO!
I wont do that to my friends. It's not fair!

Then things wind up, and I almost get told to get fucked and on top of it - if i get shitty about it (which some would argue -I have a right to do!) this friend gets shitty back and doesn't exactly get apologetic about it! As opposed to admiting that it's a fucked up thing to do, I get the book of excuses. Nah mate, wont have it.

The result is usually - a long list not exactly life-or-death excuses and then this friend gets shitty at me!!!
(Imagine my feisty spanish side at its worst coming out... that's exactly what happened this morning about 8 minutes before I hung up the phone).

WHY SHOULD THEIR EVENTS/FRIENDS/TIME be worthy of respect while MINE are NOT!? So, since this is not the first time (or the second for that matter) my conclusion has been to 'not let this one slide' and put an end to all this double standard bullshit. There are consecuences to assume when you fuck people around like this, and I've had it. I'm not a moron. I'm a human being. I have friends, I have feelings, I also value these and my time. If I give respect, why shouldn't I receive it in return???

What do you think... am I over-reacting (by the way, I got told I was over-reacting!)

*******************************

He tenido un temita ultimamente y agradeceria el obtener consejo. Mas o menos he tomado una decision acerca de esta situacion, pero tengo la menta abierta y cualquier consejo sera tomado en consideracion... aqui esta el tema:

Tengo una amiga que cada vez que organiza algo.. me lo dice y yo digo si si o si no y luego pues cumplo con lo que he dicho. Si se trata de estar ahi pues me presento, si se trata de no estar pues no estoy. Eso es lo que hace la gente normal no?
Pues por lo visto NO! Con esta particular trituradora de tiempo no ocurre asi.
Y yo por supuesto (me llevo el primer premio en la loteria de gilipollitis aguda aveces) pues aun con todo esto sigo manteniendo mi palabra, vez tras vez.
Y no me hincharia tanto las pelotas si no fuera porque encima de no cumplir con su palabra, acaba por hacerme a mi quedar mal con mis amigos! No, esto si que no... !#@!$#@!$#

Enfin, una vez que hemos acordado algo, yo me aseguro de que ocurra... si algo se mete por medio pues lo arreglo para que no afecte los planes, pero esto a ella se la suda.

Que hace? Pues la tia hace lo que le sale de los cojones! Si le conviene pues vale, pero ultimamente pues como que no le conviene y dice que si, y luego se organiza el tema con mas gente y luego dice 'porque no lo cambiamos a "tal" dia?' alo cual pues yo le digo que no.. sobre todo si ya he cambiado la fecha con gente una vez y ella me habia dicho que si, conque acabo por decir "NO!". Aver lo he cambiado para que estes tu ahi y ahora te ha dado por hacer otra cosa, y ahora pretendes que se joda todo el personal y que cambien sus planes por ti? Que te piensas que eres la reina de saba? HASTA LOS HUEVOS estoy.

Joer, que no cuesta tanto conceder un poco de respeto... esque encima cuando me cabree al enterarme que me la daba con queso otra vez la tia - se PUSO BORDE CONMIGO! Que fuerte... enfin pues os podeis imaginar mi cabreo a la española ocho minutos antes de colgarle el telefono! Joer ... para sus amigos todo se hace bien y los mios que les jodan? PUES NO. Que le den por culo a ella. Si yo concedo respeto pues espero respeto de vuelta, no encima de malas excusas que se me ponga borde la niña.. enfin, tu que piensas? Me he pasao de vuelta con todo esto o estoy en mi derecho a estar cabreada??

Que quemada estoy con el tema, hay que joderse..

**************************
**************
******
***
*

BISH'S 30th - The Party of the YEAR... 70s Theme, performances... the works!!!

2005-06-01T00:18:00.000+12:00

The guy does it every time... and this time he REALLY went to TOWN!
To check out some photos from Bish's latest party success.... click here!! (fotos aqui!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BISH... and please: tell us your secret! How else will we ever keep up with you???
Lotsa Luv - SILVIA

La fiesta de BISH ha sido la leche.... el tio la lia siempre, y este año...su trigesimo cumpleaños
no iba a ser para menos!!! Muchas Felicidades BISH... eres el mas fiestero del reino...
ojala podamos todos seguir tu ritmo.

Muchos besos y gracias por tu amistad :) you're the best mate!

*****************************

Gut Instincts: Myth or Medium. El Sexto Sentido: Leyenda Urbana o Angel de la Guardia

2005-05-26T13:26:00.000+12:00

Should we trust our gut or should we be a gut-skeptic?

After reading an article on Malcolm Gladwell's latest book "BLINK" I straight away went out and bought it. A couple of months later, on one of those rare occasions when I switch on TV and it's not just to watch Nip Tup, Campbell shows up on tele and who's he interviewing? None other than Malcolm Gladwell about this book Blink, and the subject of 'thin slicing'. Interesting this should happen... since I don't believe in coincidences. So anyway, this whole thing got me thinking..
'Thin slicing' refers to our ability to extract a judgement on something from the stimuli we process within the first few seconds of exposure to it. (Damn, I'm sounding like a pro here!)
This is to say that from our first few moments of contact with anything new, we subconciously draw up a conclusion or a rating on this, from information stored in our subconscious.
It's how we welcome this information that appears to be crucial. The results from the research that has been conducted so far on this subject, support the hypothesis that the conclusions we reach within the first twenty odd seconds on a person, tend to be the same than after twenty minutes or even two hours!

Other research has also suggested that we tend to be more correct in our initial judgements than after giving it time to think it over. Basically, if we think too much we tend to fuck it up. I know I do, since the 5 answers I changed in Monday's Psych test I changed from 'right' to 'wrong', all five, yes... taking my score down to 50/60 as opposed to the potential 55/60. This tells me a bit more about the pattern I tend to follow, and in my case anyway - having too much time to think doesn't take me down the right path.

Of course, the crucial part in all this subject of being correct and being able to trust your gut is stricly related to whether you are allowing your instinct to come out or not. We have been trained NOT TO from a very young age..

Indeed, since we were little we have always been told to 'not take a book by it's cover', to give things the benefit of the doubt until we have more information on them, before making judgement. However, SHOULD we be ignoring our instincts to do the politically correct thing and hold out until we know for example whether this person is the love of your life or whether this is the right house to buy etc?

My question to you would be... how DID it feel when it WAS the right person for you, when you first encountered someone that turned out to be an important influence on your life?
What did your instinct tell you? Perhaps straight away it told you there was something special about that face. Or maybe you got no vibes whatsoever...

Could it be that you had completely shut off your sixth sense? How open are you to your subconscious telling you more about the things that are happening around you, the messages you hear, the people you encounter?

That, my friend, is my question for you to ponder over the weekend. Until next time...

Much Love,

Silvia

********************************

Es mejor fiarse de lo que te dice tu instinto o debemos dudar de nuestras primeras impresiones?

Tras leer un articulo publicado acerca del libro "Blink" de Malcolm Gladwell, automaticamente sali a comprarmelo. Un par de meses mas tarde, en una de esas escasas ocasiones en las que enciendo la tele y no es solo para ver "Nip Tup", salio Campbell en la tele (un presentador kiwi) y a quien entrevistaba? Nada mas y nada menos que a Malcolm Gladwell acerca de su libro Blink. La verdad es que no creo en las coincidencias, conque este evento me hizo pensar aun mas en el tema del libro.

El termino "Thin Slicing" de este libro, se refiere al 'juicio instantaneo' que realizamos cuando nos encontramos ante una situacion y/o gente nueva en nuestra vida en los primeros segundos en que entramos en contacto.
Esto quiere decir que en los primeros momentos en lo que entramos en contacto con algo nuevo, nuestra intuicion o sexto sentido suele sacar algunas conclusiones. El tema que surge de todo esto yace en si estamos abiertos a esta informacion, este sexto sentido; si estamos dispuestos a escuchar lo que nos dicen nuestro instinto o no! Mi conclusion, es que este es el factor determinante y esencial en la credibilidad que ofrece esta singular y valiosa ayuda de nuestro subconsciente - como de abiertos estamos a ella.

Los resultados de la investigacion que se ha realizado hasta entonces, parecen aportar credibilidad hacia la teoria de que las conclusiones que sacamos en los primeros 20 segundos en los que entramos en contacto con una persona nueva, tienden a ser iguales a las que sacamos si estamos en contacto con esa persona durante media hora o dos horas. Pero como puede ser que nuestro instinto sea tan eficaz?? Es posible que tengamos aceso a informacion tan valiosa de forma instantanea?

En mi experiencia personal de esta semana... el examen que tuve el lunes, parece demostrar que mis instintos son mucho mas acertados de lo que creia. De las 5 respuestas que modifique en el examen, las 5 fueron cambiadas de respuestas 'correctas' a 'incorrectas' - que putada! Parece que si me dan tiempo a que me lo piense tiendo a meter la pata.. De un 55/60 en potencia acabe con un 50/60... enfin, que le vamos a hacer!

De pequeños, siempre nos enseñaron que juzgar es malo, y que llegar a conclusiones de forma precipitada no esta bien y lo de la famosa "consulta con la almohada" queriendo decir "sleep on it", piensalo mejor - antes de llegar a conclusiones. PERO, es asi como debemos obrar? Debemos desechar nuestros instintos por temor a tomar decisiones malsanas? Debemos darnos tiempo en pensar por ejemplo en cosas tales como si tal persona es el amor de mi vida o si debiera comprar aquella casa?

Mi pregunta para ti es la siguiente... QUE sentiste cuando conociste a una persona importante en tu vida? Tal vez supiste nada mas verla que seria alguien importante para ti? O tal vez no sintieras ni pensaras nada. Pero no crees que si fuera el caso de que no sentiste ni supiste nada, pudiera ser porque no estabas abierto a la informacion de tu instinto? Como de abierto estas a la informacion que te ofrece tu subconciente acerca de la cosas que existen a tu alrededor, la gente que vas conociendo dia a dia?

Esta, querido amigo, es mi pregunta para ti, para que pienses en ella durante este finde semana.
Hasta pronto...
Recibe mi cariño,

Silvia

Within the last few days... En estos ultimos dias....

2005-05-24T17:02:00.000+12:00

The weekend produced some interesting events. Going over the weekend activity in authentic Bridget Jones style we reach the following stats...

Alcoholic beverages consumed: 5 wines
Cigarettes smoked: none
Medical interventions: 1
Amount of freaks encountered: 8 (approx)
Number of potential Romeos encountered: 1!
Weight loss/gain: none that I know of or want to know about

The bottom line - lesson learnt last week:
Seeking love is not the process for finding love.

Wow... sorry but this is actually a huge discovery for me. My belief is developing and I'm starting to suspect that things to focus on in order to have love in your life are:
1. to feel love
2. to want to give love
I think both are a must, otherwise it wont work. Ok, well that's my theory for now anyway.

And as for the potential Romeo encountered I wont go into detail (although you probably want me to, don't you???). It's a crazy story anyway and even if I told you, you probably wouldn't believe me, and I'd be swept away by the romanticism in it all, probably just through thinking about it and telling you... and I don't want to let this happen for now. No, folks... so you're just going to have to listen to my single girl adventures and thoughts for a while longer.
Another thing I'm coming to terms with... the 'specs' I'd defined for the ideal guy may not be at all what I'm after. I've now been thinking, and it's more about who i am when I'm with the other person, as opposed to what the other person is like, where they are from, etc etc.

Anyway enough about that and a little about study related stories, which after all is my main occupation at the moment. For starters, I'll admit that attention-seeking-modesty or hipocresy aint my game. I lay the cards on the table when it comes to ratings, whether it be someone else's or my own, good or bad. And Monday's test... I aced it alright! or so I believe anyway. My German studies however, are going to require some form of witchcraft or miracle to get me a pass but I have faith that somehow I will make it happen. And my writing paper is da bomb! I've just put together my first short story for my fiction portfolio and it's a very interesting piece of work... I love it. I love it so much... it makes me feel passionate about what I'm doing, and that passion shows in the quality of my work. Everything I'm doing at uni are hobbies to me... not work. I'm stoked to have the opportunity to learn all these things and grow through all this.

********************

El finde me trajo algunos eventos interesantes. Resumiendo en plan a lo Bridget Jones, he aqui las estadisticas:

Bebidas alcoholicas consumidas: 5 vinos
Cigarros: ni uno
Intervenciones medicas: 1
Gente rara (locos de la vida): 8 (aprox)
Romeos (potenciales) encontrados: 1!
Perdida/aumento de peso: ninguna de la que sea consciente o quiera saber

Leccion de la semana:
Buscar amor no es la forma de conseguir amor

Guau... lo siento, pero esto es un verdadero descubrimiento para mi. Mis creencias se estan desarollando y estoy empezando a sospechar que en lo que tengo que centrarme para tener amor es:
1. sentir amor
2. querer dar amor
Creo que ambos son necesarios sino, no funciona. Bueno, por lo menos de momento esa es mi teoria al respecto.

Y en lo que concierne al Romeo en potencia no os voy a dar detalles (aunque seguramente quereis detallitos eh??). De cualquier modo es una historia loca, y aunque os la contara seguro que no me creeriais, y yo me dejaria llevar por el romanticismo solo con contarlo. No... la verdad que no quiero dejarme llevar por esas cosas en estos momentos, conque vais a tener que aguantar un poco mas los pensamientos y las aventuras de esta solterona.
Otra cosa que estoy asumiendo... mis especificaciones del hombre ideal posiblemente no tengan gran cosa que ver conque que quiero realmente. Ahora ando pensando que es mas importante quien soy cuando estoy con la otra persona que como es la otra persona, de donde viene etc...

Enfin, ya vale con todo eso, pasemos al tema estudiantil, que despues de todo es mi oficio actual.
Una cosa que me caracteriza es que si algo me sale garrafal, lo admito, y si algo me sale bien pues tambien lo admito. La hipocresia o la modestia con afan de atraer atencion no me van nada. En lo que se refiere a expresar mi opinion con respecto a como encuentro las cosas, suelo poner las cartas sobre la mesa. Y el test que tuve ayer lunes... la verdad que me salio cojonudo!
o eso pienso... Enfin, el curso de aleman es otra historia, ahi la verdad que voy de culo... voy a necesitar brujeria o un milagro para aprobar, pero tengo fe de que hallare alguna forma de conseguirlo. Y mi asignatura de narrativa es la bomba y me esta llendo super bien. Acabo de escribir mi primera historia corta (ficcion) y ha resultado ser una historia muy interesante.... Este amor hacia mi trabajo me hace sentir pasion hacia ello y me procura buenos resultados. Todo lo que estoy haciendo en la uni son como hobbies para mi... no trabajo.
Estoy maravillada ante la posibilidad de estar haciendo todo lo que estoy haciendo y de tener esta oportunidad de desarollo personal e intectual. No puedo expresar con palabras lo feliz que me hacen estas cosas y lo agradecida que estoy.

:) Smarty

About Memory

2005-05-22T18:09:00.000+12:00

"You have to begin to lose your memory, if only in bits and pieces, to realise that memory is what makes our lives. Life without memory is no life at all"
Luis Bunuel (1900-1983)

************************************************

"Tienes que empezar a perder la memoria, aunque solo sean fragmentos, para darte cuenta que la vida esta hecha de recuerdos. La vida sin recuerdos no es vida alguna."
Luis Bunuel (1900-1983)

ps - Dear 'SsssHhhh', please forgive me not bringing you more information about my present life and not writing a big reflection post today (it is pending and yes it will happen mid next week).
As you may have guessed, I have a test tomorrow and am only just getting into study now.
Tata.. DB

2005-05-19T17:39:00.000+12:00

I know that what I give out is what I receive.
Today I choose to give out love.

"Can you remember the last time you were in love?
Your heart went ahhhh.. it was such a wonderful feeling.
It's the same thing with loving yourself,
except that you will never leave.
Once you have love for yourself, it's with you
for the rest of your life, so you want to make it
the best relationship you can have."
L. Hay

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Se que aquello que entregue al mundo sera lo que reciba.
Hoy elijo entregar amor.

"Recuerdas la ultima vez que te enamoraste?
Tu corazon hizo ahhhhhh... era un sentimiento maravilloso.
Lo mismo pasa con quererte a ti mismo,
solo que tu nunca te dejaras. Una vez que te quieras
a ti mismo, ese amor se quedara contigo por el
resto de tus dias, asi que quieres intentar hacer
que esa sea la mejor relacion de tu vida."

Tuesday Night Stories.... Historias de un martes por la noche

2005-05-18T14:03:00.000+12:00

She picks up the phone and I ask 'where the fuck ARE you?' to which the response is, 'oh, the class has already started... i uhm, i told you i had work today and uhm'
'I've texted you twice, we'd agreed to go together. Why didn't you get back to me so we could meet up? I'm sick of this shit, if we've agreed on something then why do you just go off and do it without me in the end?'
She replies 'sweetie, i thought you knew where it was. Tell you what, why don't you just stay home tonight and come along next week'.
I feel anger steam coming up my throat while my ears listen to the last part of that sentence...
'I AM NOT FUCKING STAYING IN TONIGHT. I'VE BOUGHT ANOTHER FUCKEN DAY PASS FOR THE BUS JUST LIKE FRIDAY. THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY I AM GOING TO STAY IN THE HOUSE. FORGET IT. BYE'. I hang up the phone.

A bottle of red later we move on to the next bar.
Still only 10.30pm and as we walk into the downstairs part of the bar, and Chris Knox yells into the mike "hey, those guys are getting in without paying!" and we just sit down anyway. Following the laughs, he gets someone to play some guitar chords while he dances around the room. We're at the very end of the room kneeling on the floor and surprise surprise! Chris approaches and kneels with his knees touching mine while singing to the music and waving his arms around.
Great, my face now looks like a bright red tomato while the camera records Chris' dancing just centimeters from my embarassed facial expressions!
My friends laugh and I want the earth to swallow me whole, but end up laughing along too. Once satisfied with having left an impression on us, Chris moves on to running his hands up and down some other unsuspecting girls left boot, but we're still in awe from the moments we're shared with the comical legend up close.
The perfomance comes to an end and I'm talking to the dj next to the bar while Chris comes up to us and asks me "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Debbie Harris?"... we all crack up while I say "You're the first, my dear". I think about how old the lead singer of Blondie would be and know this man is one of the only that could be brave enough to come out with something like that. While we continue to hang out with Chris or Chris with us (or a bit of both really) the group of people grows while my vodka and orange slowly disappears. Tuesday night continued to bring great laughs, until I quietly reached my doorstep at 4.48am thinking to myself 'You've done it again, girl. What an awesome night!'.

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Contesta el telefono y la pregunto "donde coño andas?" a lo cual responde "oh, la clase ya ha comenzado. Esto... te dije que trabajaba hoy?"

"Te he mandado dos textos... por que no me has contestado para encontrarnos antes de la clase?? Estoy harta de estos rollos tia... si hemos quedado en hacer algo juntas no entiendo porque pasas de todo y te vas tu por tu cuenta".
"Nena... pense que sabias donde era eso es todo. Enfin, por que no te tomas una noche tranquila y te quedas en casa y vienes la semana que viene".

(que me QUEDE EN CASA me esta diciendo... sera...!)
"DE NINGUNA MANERA TENGO PENSADO QUEDARME EN CASA. ME HE COMPRADO EL PUTO TICKET DEL BUS PARA HOY Y ME VOY A IR AL CENTRO... ME DA IGUAL ME VOY. NO ME QUEDO AQUI. OLVIDALO VALE? ADIOS". Cuelgo el telefono con un mosqueo de tres pares de huevos mientras termino de prepararme para darme el piro.

Una botella de tinto mas tarde decidimos ir al siguiente bar.
Todavia son solo las 10.30 de la noche y el humorista Chris Knox grita por el micro mientras entramos en la parte subterranea del garito 'Esos no han pagado entrada... que cabrones!'... tras la risas, le pasa la guitarra a uno y le da instrucciones acerca de los acordes que debe tocar mientras el se zarandea por toda la habitacion como un bailarin loco. Nosotros de rodillas en el suelo al fondo, viendo el espectaculo... mientras Chris se acerca y se arrodilla frente mio con sus rodillas rozando las mias... moviendo los brazos por el aire mientras yo se pongo colorada como un tomate. Todo grabado en video por un camara profesional. Genial asi el resto del continente podra verme en mi momento de 'tierra tragame'. Chris continua su baile comico y sensual, esta vez pasandole las manos de arriba abajo a la bota izquierda de una chica del publico... pero nosotros todavia estamos flipandolo debido a los momentos que hemos pasado con la leyenda comica frente a nosotros.
El espectaculo concluye, y yo estaba charlando con el dj del garito cuando se acerca Chris a nosotros y me pregunta "Te han dicho alguna vez que te pareces a Debbie Harris?" nos tronchamos y respondo "No... eres el primero". Mientras me pregunto cual sera la edad or antiguedad de la cantante del grupo Blondie, me percato de que este hombre seguramente es uno de los unicos con el valor de decir algo asi. Continuamos de cachondeito con Chris y el grupo de gente aumenta mientras mi vodka con naranja desaparece. Las risas continuan hasta que llego a la puerta de casa a las 4.48 am, pensando para mis adentros "You've done it again, girl. What an awesome night".

Romeo.. Where the hell art thou Romeo? Carta a Romeo de una Julieta indignada y un tanto impaciente

2005-05-14T01:35:00.000+12:00

Dear Romeo,

-You know this is for you if you have never met me and you are a gorgeous intelligent spanish kiwi male aged 25-28 non-smoker minimum 2 languages/3 pref, musically talented, with an innate creative vibe, a high emotional intelligence and a love and passion for life - not forgetting to mention me being the love of your life and all.-

Right, let's get the dots on the "i's" shall we?
I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, although I should have guessed.
I've had it with you and now is the time for me to tell you this.
Not exactly off to a charming start, since my first letter to you will suspiciously remind you of a reprimand.. BUT, YOU HAVE HAD 24 God damn forsaken years to get your shit together and come onto the scene, and what the hell are you doing?
I hope it's not just wasting time playing X-Box!
Quite honestly, I have no idea what's keeping you, but one thing for sure, my number aint in your phone directory!
Frankly, I'm appalled at how incompetent you've become in showing up in my life in an attempt to sweep me off my feet. The cleaners at the foodcourt in Coastlands have come closer to sweeping me off my feet than you ever have. That doesn't say much in your favour.
Sure there's a lot of other stuff around to do... but don't you think it's time to finally get on with it?
I really can't afford to spend my whole life like this! By this I'm not trying to imply I am ready for anything serious right now, BUT - I am starting to get some form of Bridget Jones syndrome which really doesn't do much for me.
I mean, sure: catching mice, holding dinner parties, trying to become an actress, getting involved in saving The Bean cafe, being a student at uni, attempting to have normal Friday nights etc...this sort of thing is ok... BUT, how do I say it? It's not enough. And I'm getting grumpy!
So, please be an organised chap, and as I said before.. get your shit together. I don't have all day, everyday. Really. I don't.

Hopefully you will receive this message in some form or another and you will respond per my request.

Looking forward to your grand-heart-thumping-entrance,

Your Truly Smarty (my other nick Juliette may also ring some bells)

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(carta a Romeo, escrita en momentos en los que parece ser estoy perdiendo por completo la compostura)

Querido Romeo,

-Sabes que esto va por ti si eres un kiwi-español guapisimo, inteligente, entre 25-28 años, no-fumador, con un minimo de dos idiomas/tres preferidos, con talento musical, creatividad innata, alta inteligencia emocional y amor y pasion por la vida y sin olvidarnos del pequeño detallito de que soy el amor de tu vida y tal. -

Bueno, pongamos los puntos sobre la 'i'es. Esperaba que no tuviera que llegar a esto, pero ya veo, ya veo que es inevitable.
Estoy hasta el gorro y este es mi momento de decirtelo. No es el comienzo mas ideal, ya que esta es mi primera carta para ti y la verdad que va a sonar a reprimenda autentica.. PERO, mira guapo, la verdad que has tenido 24 benditos años en lo que hacer acto de presencia, y que coño haces? No lo se, pero espero que no sea solo perder el tiempo jugando a la X-Box! Sinceramente, no se que te esta retrasando tanto, pero se que seguro mi numero no esta en tu agenda!

La verdad estoy completamente indignada por la incompetencia que has mostrado en plantarte en la escena y enarmorarme locamente como en las peliculas. Seguro que hay muchas mas cosas por hacer por ahi... pero no crees que va siendo hora de ponerte la pilas y hacer acto de presencia de una vez por todas? No tengo toda la vida para andar esperando, te lo digo en serio!

Con esto, no quiero decir que este preparada para nada serio por el momento, PERO - estoy empezando a tener el sindrome de la Bridget Jones y no me pega nada.
Y bueno que lo de cazar ratones, montar cenas, meterme a actriz, intentar salvar el puesto de cafe de la uni, estudiar en la uni, intentar tener un viernes normal.. etc... estas cosillas estan bien. Pero aver, como te lo explico yo? No es suficiente. Y me esta entrando mala leche. Asi que, mira majete ponte al dia y como ya te dije antes... ponte la pilas y aparecete de una vez.
No tengo todo el dia, todos los dias... de verdad que no. No lo tengo.

Espero que recibas este mensaje de un modo u otro y que respondas a mi peticion.

Ale, nos vemos pronto.. ya que seguro ahora mismo estas planeando la gran entrada romantica del siglo,
Con afecto,

Smarty (La Juli)

2005-05-13T16:32:00.000+12:00

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

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Traduccion... "Se tu mismo y di lo que sientes ya que aquellos a quienes les moleste no importan, y a los que importan no les molestara"

Dinner Party Challenge

2005-05-12T14:31:00.000+12:00

Here's the deal... how do you host a dinner party and make your guests useful without asking them to do the dishes???

Practical example for your own dinner parties (from last night's):

*The need: yesterday was the hightlighted occasion in which I had my new bed delivered, which meant I had a mattress sitting near the front door, waiting to be wrapped and put away into storage.
*The thought: 2pm 11th May "would be cool if someone else did that, don't feel up to it. I'll think about it over a glass of wine"
*The setting: a paella dinner party, 7 pm
*The participants: 4 males and 3 females
*The challenge: get the guys to wrap the thing up and put it away through means of presenting the task as a 'Dinner Challenge' and providing no reward whatsoever.
*The result: entertaining event, photographs taken, guests made useful, task accomplished and everyone happy!!!

The directors/conductors of the challenge... the women.
Smart girls! ;)

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Aqui esta el tema... como consigues que en una cena tus invitados se hagan utiles sin hacerles fregar los platos??

Ejemplo practico a continuacion, sacado de la cena de anoche:

*El embolao: ayer me trajeron la cama nueva y el viejo colchon quedo en el pasillo de casa, esperando ser envuelto y llevado al cuarto trastero para ser almacenado.
*La idea: 2pm, 11 mayo... "pues la verdad que no me apetece nada ponerme a envolver el colchon de los huevos, estaria bien si lo hiciese algun otro... voy a pensarmelo mientras me tomo un vinito"
*La escena: una cena de paella en mi casa a las 7pm
*Los participantes: cuatro hombres y tres mujeres
*El reto: conseguir que los tios envuelvan el colchon y lo almacenen presentando la tarea como "El reto" de la cena y sin proveer recompensa ninguna por realizar lo que de otra manera seria una ardua labor.
*El resultado: evento muy entretenido, fotografiado, invitados fueron utiles, tarea completada y todo el mundo feliz!!!

Direccion del reto: las mujeres! bravo por las nenas... ;)

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SAVE THE BEAN... Salvar el puesto del cafe!

2005-05-10T20:14:00.000+12:00

Fame and fortune is just a bit closer (LoL)...since today I had my photo taken along with my friend Rose by our friends from 'The Bean', so we'll be starring in the wall of fame of the best coffee joint at uni. Also, the photographer from the student mag (it's all happening yeah!) took our photo having a moccha with Bobby (one of the guys that works in the coffee place who's officially our mate now). Apparently the uni want The Bean to take away the coffee cart so they can have the monopoly (sounds like 'the Godfather' or something yeah!) and that's what the magazine's article is going to be about. So there's Smarty of course, in the middle of it all...supporting the caffeine cart, endorsing mocchas, signing petitions and we ended up offering to wear 'The Bean' t-shirts on campus and getting more signatures (all this just came out of a good Moccha.. geez can't take me anywhere can you?). Anyway, apart from that, today I responded to an advertisement of ACTOR WANTED for shortfilms etc... life just gets more interesting by the day, don't it? I'll be finding out more about it, no promises though! ;)

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La Fama y la fortuna estan algo mas cerca tras los incidentes del dia de hoy. Primero los del puesto de cafe que hay en la uni 'The Bean' nos sacaron la foto a mi amiga Rose y a mi, nos van a poner con demas fotos del puesto de cafe :) Ademas la fotografa de la revista de la universidad nos saco unas fotos tomando cafe con Bobby, uno de los currantes de la cafeteria The Bean (oficialmente ya es coleguita nuestro). Por lo visto la uni quiere monopolizar la venta del cafe (seran mafiosos... esto parece el padrino!) y quiere que The Bean retire su puesto... no mola nada eso... enfin conque de eso va el articulo y saldremos nosotros ahi me imagino. Ademas estuvimos firmando peticiones y posiblemente nos den unas camisetas de The Bean para que recojamos firmas por la uni ...en que lios me meto, no se me puede sacar ni a tomar cafe la verdad. Enfin, aparte de todo esto y aunque va a parecer que me falta un tornillo, todas las tuercas y algun que otro carburador... vi y respondi a un anuncio de 'SE BUSCA ACTOR'... en principio para enterarme de que va, y bueno, todo se vera, no? ;)

Smarty

Review "Zebbos/Southern Cross" Wellington

2005-05-09T16:20:00.000+12:00

Absolutely disgraceful the way in which a friend and I were invited to leave by the bouncer at ZEBBOS (also called Southern Cross) last Saturday night (by the way may I mention that I had only had fruit juice therefore was not at all intoxicated and neither was my friend). Anyway we had only just ordered some wedges and for whatever reason the placed emptied out pretty soon after that and next thing you know the bouncer came up to us with the following (11pm Saturday night): "Hi, I know you guys have just ordered some food and that... but the truth is that the bar is actually now closed and well, I don't want to get grouchy or anything... but the longer you guys are here, the longer I have to be here... so haste is of the essence... cause I don't want to get grouchy or anything but you guys are the last here... so yeah if you could speed things up please."
(Both the tone and the choice in wording was completely off...)
To which I stared blankly thinking to myself... DUDE, YOU NEED TO GO GET YOURSELF SOME MANNERS AND POSSIBLY ANOTHER JOB! We hesitated as to whether we should proceed to take as long as we wanted before departing but decided the atmosphere was not worth it.
He could have easily just said "hey guys, sorry about this but we're probably going to close very soon, so if you could finish off soon it would be great" - and NO PROBLEMO.
But no, he just had to be a rude bastard. It just sucks that stuff like this goes on...
And it's unreal that people get away with it! That's why I'm calling Consumer Rights as soon as I've logged off from posting this to lodge a formal complaint... I do wonder why the hell he thought I would stand by and allow that kind of shit. This aint the end mate, no siree..

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Traduccion... Estabamos un amigo mio y yo en un bar llamado ZEBBOS (Southern Cross) el sabado pasado cuando a eso de las 11 pm el garito se vacio y el gilipollas del puerta nos vino decirnos que aunque acababamos de recibir la comida que habiamos pedido que nos diesemos prisa en irnos porque no queria tener que ponerse borde y que cuanto mas tiempo estuviesemos nosotros ahi pues mas tiempo tendria que quedarse el y queria cerrar y que nos diesemos prisa que no queria tener que ponerse borde! Sera cazurro el tio... no entiendo para que le dan un trabajo asi... nos lo dijo de muy malas maneras la verdad... joer, si nos dice que 'si por favor podemos acelerar un poquito el paso porque van a cerrar' pues NO TENGO NINGUN inconveniente, yo he trabajado en hosteleria y se que se siente, pero el tio iba en plan jeta y se paso tres pueblos y bueno ahora cuando desconecte de internet procedo a llamar al departamento de derechos del consumidor para poner una queja formal.
Ea! Pa que aprendan a guardarle el respecto a los clientes la proxima vez... A mi ya no me la dan con queso, que yo ya me canse de esas gilipolleces de hacerle y dicerle cualquier cosa a los clientes!

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Today's Saying... Frase del Dia

2005-05-08T15:01:00.001+12:00

"If you always do what you've always done,
You'll always get what you always got"

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"Si haces siempre lo que siempre hiciste,
Siempre obtendrás lo que siempre obtuviste"

Gotta stop doing this... tengo que parar!

2005-05-07T11:39:00.000+12:00

I need to stop these 'huge' nights and start drinking 'moderately' in order to avoid all the nasty side-effects it creates, like:
-Saying hi to people you don't know
-Getting the M and F confused when going to the toilet
-Loudly singing Abba at the bus stop while awaiting the bus
-Dancing with Larry (I swear to God, never EVER again)
-Leaving my 24hour old cardigan behind at the bar (yes, brand new)
-the headaches
-the dries
-the headaches
-the house of the dead look the next day
-the headaches

Enough is enough! I am going to put a stop to this while I can...
Juice IS MY FRIEND!

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Tengo que dejar de salir asi... y empezar a beber con moderacion para evitar todos los efectos secudarios a los que esto conlleva,
tales como:
-Saludando a desconocidos
-Confundiendo las carteles de señoras y caballeros en los lavabos
-Cantando ABBA a grito pelao durante la espera del autobus en la parada.
-Bailar con Larry (juro que nunca jamas)
-Dejandome en el bar la chaqueta que me compre el dia anterior
-Los dolores de cabeza
-El look de la señora Rogelia al dia siguiente

Esto tiene que acabar! Voy a pararle los pies a esto ahora que puedo. A partir de ahora zumitos pa el cuerpo.

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MouseBusters! Los CazaRatones...

2005-05-06T12:26:00.000+12:00

On Wednesday night I caught my first mouse ever (I'm so proud!) and released it to its natural habitat (?) or otherwise known as the neighbour's garden.
The event started while we we having dinner at home, Melita tackled the west side while I awaited with an old towel on the east.. he then jumped in behind the desk but I couldn't see him anywhere behind it so I figured he would be in one of the drawers.. and sure enough open up the second drawer and there he was reading up the old invoices folder... so I snatched him up in the towel and we then ran outside to let him go somewhere else. So there, who the hell said that dinner at home had to be boring???

El miercoles por la noche atrape mi primer raton (y si, estoy muy orgullosa de mi hazaña) y lo libere en su entorno natural (?) bueno tambien apodado 'el jardin del vecino'.
El evento comenzo mientras estabamos cenando en casa, Melita cubrio por el lado del oeste y yo con una toalla vieja por el este...entonces el salto detras del escritorio pero yo no podia verlo al mirar detras conque asumi que estaria en uno de los cajones... y en efecto al abrir el segundo cajon ahi estaba, leyendose la carpeta de viejas facturas...asi que lo atrape con la toalla y salimos corriendo afuera para soltarlo en cualquier otro lado. Enfin... quien dijo que cenar en casa era algo aburrido??

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Creative Writing Portfolio (Revision & Reflection)

2005-05-04T23:55:00.000+12:00

(esta poesia en ingles... mejor no traduzco que sino me cargo la rima! - parte de mis trabajos universitarios)
Reflection essay and Revised version of Little Girl (original version posted a month ago)

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Revised Poem ‘Little Girl’

Some rhyme was inevitable for me this time when re-writing ‘Little Girl’, as through reading the rhymes in Robert Frost’s “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” brought back so many memories of nursery rhymes and I felt my ‘Little Girl’ poem really needed some of these sounds in order to provide the right feel.
The sound of rhyme was a key element in this poem although without sacrificing other elements such as the content or the form which show the idea of the separation and abandonment.
Most metaphors were changed, I took out the “candles”, “light”, and “twinkles” creating a fresh poem free of cliches, opting for plant metaphors as the poem is about the growth of a girl. The eyes are therefore referred to as “fern-green leaf” and the plant metaphors come back in the second to last stanza “the garden of my life….” and the weeding mentioned in the last stanza, all making reference to the lack of care the father has given the girl therefore the overgrowth.
Some of the metaphor has been modelled from Sylvia Plath’s “Mirror” from lines such as “The eye of a little god, four-cornered” for lines in my poem such as “The garden of my life, propagated with weeds you let grow”, “my smile a mirror of your cheeks and teeth”, “fern-leaf green eyes…duplicating glimpses of”. I can’t yet see how to improve this particular poem, I would need more time to come up with anything significant to be edited. If anything, perhaps writing a second part to it tying in the original idea of the little girl one day having a baby girl and ensuring this time round the father is there giving her the love she herself lacked in order to have a more positive ending. I can't get the same separation in the middle of certain lines due to the html code and browser interpretation which don't appear to be poem-friendly, but cnyway, here is the poem.

Little Girl

My pale feet shaking inside the new blanket
and my pink nose was cold at that first touch of air
Daddy, you didn’t see me did you? no, you didn’t… you weren’t there.

The first words came out
like a sprout of green on barren land
but you didn’t hear Dad, did you? and you never heard the songs I sang…

I slept with the hopes of a little girl rehearsing the dreams I would have in my life
Dreams of your time and your love, shame I only had them at night.
And standing taller I began to see, in my smile a mirror of your cheeks and teeth
In my fern-leaf green copies of your eyes… duplicating glimpses of your brief hi’s and bye’s

Little girl’s body, is no longer new
the garden of my life, propagated with hatred weeds you let grow
but you don’t know that, Daddy do you? Cause that’s a place you never go…

Now the little girl’s stopped dreaming of the things that should have been
I’ve done the weeding myself father, and now my garden’s a healthy green
Whatever you do, keep out of my veggie patch father… yes, Mr Stranger, you sure know how
Cause father, the dreams that once grew there sure don’t need your presence now

Smarty, written on 2nd May 2005

Mother's Day - El dia de las Flores, ups.. digo de la Madre

2005-05-04T15:46:00.000+12:00

English

Flower's Day approaching this Sunday folks.. even though some people still refer to it as Mother's Day. Isn't it nice for mums to have a specific day where they get some pampering? I think about my mum and I can't put into words what an amazing person she is (and other people that know her can't either for that matter). And all this, of course, makes me feel extra special for being her only child. Anyway enough blah blahs on my mum... this is a reminder for you to do something nice for your mum on mother's day and my suggestion is that if you do go with the traditional flowers, that you get her some flowers in a pot so that she can keep them for some time. After all, your mum is your mum all year round not just the days around the beggining of May!

Español

El Dia de la Madre ya se ve venir, aunque a decir verdad mas bien parece el dia de los ramos. Que bonito verdad, que las mamas tengan un dia en que se la mime un poco? Cada vez que pienso en mi madre no encuentro palabras para expresar lo increible que es (y a decir verdad el resto de la gente que la conoce parece tener el mismo problema). Todo esto, por supuesto me hace sentir aun mas especial al ser su unica hija. Enfin, ya no me enrollo mas con lo de mi madre... este es unicamente un recordatorio para que le des una sorpresita a tu madre en el Dia de la Madre, y si acabar por sucumbir a un obsequio de flores - mejor en una maceta que asi duran mas... al fin y al cabo tu madre es tu madre todo el año, no solo a primeros de Mayo!

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Creative Writing Portfolio: (Writing about a word) - Revision

2005-05-03T18:14:00.000+12:00

(Parte de mis trabajos universitarios requieren escribir poesia en ingles... lo siento, pero las traducciones de este tipo no son viables conque tendran que quedar en un idioma!) (these posts only in English!)

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Treatment

Firstly served with the sound
of a tennis ball being hit
have we the ’t’
although soon we do run into a
tree! without the ‘e’…
and leafy foliage reminds
us of veggies but
not of what follows,
not of chocolate sweets
which we could also ‘eat’
and included is any other
we refer to as ‘treat’.
If thirst should rise
we could indeed accompany
it with a tad of ‘trea’
only perhaps leave out the ‘r’?
‘At’ I’m sure is where we are now
in the middle, only half way…
but if you keep going; it pays off!
…when we reach the ‘ATM’
And although all this
I’ve truly meant, it’s not quite
treatment’s ‘ment’, neither
is the peppery version
called mints…

by Smarty (May 05)

Blog Makeover-Cambio de Look para el Blog

2005-05-01T05:53:00.000+12:00

Doing a few changes of my own... the blog's getting a makeover (bit by bit) watch this space to see end result!

Yo tambien tengo algunos cambios por hacer... le estoy haciendo la cirugia al blog (poco a poco llegare a algun resultado que me agrade)

Cha-cha-cha-CHAANGES (Cambios)

2005-05-01T02:17:00.000+12:00

It's unreal how much people can change in no time at all.
It's happened to all of us, with friends, relatives etc. We all at some point find someone who undertakes a complete change and you just become shell-shocked (whether impressed, disappointed, sometimes both towards this change) and all this in no time at all.
It's just something that leaves you thinking as to how much someone can change so quickly and it makes you question whether you really knew that person at all and how could it be that you never picked up on certain things or why you ever liked other ones. And once you get through the disappointed fase, you very quickly get to the feeling indifferent fase, and if you're onto it you'll achieve this in one afternoon's work!
Anyway, that's life; isn't it? A constant flow of changes... this implies a lot, but generally the implications are good, even if as a way of finding yourself you sometimes need to get a bit 'lost' and also because there's got to be a bit of everything in the world, I guess that's the richness of this place...and otherwise it might get a bit boring, don't you think? ;)

Me parece increible que cambie la gente tanto en tan poco tiempo.
A todos nos ha pasado con amigos, familiares etc. Todos en algun momento nos encontramos con algun individuo que da un giro de ciento ochenta grados y te quedas flipao (ya por gusto, disgusto o tal vez ambos!) y todo en menos que canta un gallo.
Parece mentira que en cuestion de semanas alguien pueda cambiar tanto y la verdad que no me lo explico y me quedo pensando... como no me daria cuenta yo antes de todo esto? y el famoso: 'en que coño estaria yo pensando?' Y bueno pues 'te das cuen' como deciamos mucho por mi tierra (das cuenta) de muchas cosas, y tras el disgusto decides que no merece la pena pensarlo mas... y entonces pasas por 'ni te gusta ni te disgusta'... ni te agrada ni te desagrada...sencillamente entras en la fase de la indiferencia con respecto a esa persona y su nuevo 'yo'. Y si estas espabiladillo, pues todo esto te das cuenta de ello y pasas todas las fases en plan 'concentrao' en una tarde de lo que ya parece invierno. Enfin, asi es la vida... una cadena de cambios y esto tiene bastantes implicaciones pero por lo general son buenas, porque a veces la gente tiene que perderse un poco para encontrar su 'yo' verdadero y tambien porque de todo tiene que haber en este mundo, sino esto seria un tanto aburrido, no crees? Eso si, muy cierto lo de 'a quien no le guste, que no mire'...y la verdad que yo solo dire que hay cosas que prefiero no presenciar...

Another Friday...Otro Viernes

2005-04-30T11:34:00.000+12:00

English
Sometimes I get to thinking 'what's the point in going out?' I'm sure you've all had this feeling at times.. where you wonder why on earth do you go out and spend money (!) and yet somehow sometimes manage to have a crap time no matter who's there or what's happening.
I think there's a big trick to having a good night out. You don't go out looking for something which you don't already have on a Thursday arvo, a Monday night, a Wednesday morning...
Sometimes I forget this golden rule and like a little girl I take my dreams with me whenever I go out hoping some fairy tale story will unfold before me. Yes, well that's what goes on with me, call it what you want but I think especially creative people have a tad of dreamy-itis and I'm no exception.
I mean, I guess looking at it realistically and statistically, I have the same chances of meeting other spanish-kiwis or spanish-aussies at 11am at a supermarket than I have of bumping into them at the bar on a Friday. In fact, due to the typical alcohol induced Friday night symptons there's probably more chances that everyone will be more onto it at Woolworths than at the bar.
We'll leave that for now... and going back to the whole fairy tales subject... real romantic unforgettable stuff used to happen back in the day, and although I hate cheesy stuff I am more in the mood for this than ever before.. and you can't blame a girl for dreaming, can you?

Español
Aveces pienso que 'de que narices sirve salir por ahi?' Seguro que a todos se os ha pasado esto por la cabeza a veces. Te preguntas para que leches sales por ahi, te gastas la guita y encima no te lo pasas bien este quien este y pase lo que pase...
Me parece que hay un buen truco para pasarlo bien... no salgas un viernes por ahi buscando algo que no tengas en tu vida un jueves por la tarde o un lunes por la noche or un miercoles por la mañana. Los viernes no son una cura milagrosa y San Pedro no se te va a aparecer porque sea viernes... Aun con todo esto algunas veces se me olvidan estas cosas, y como niña con zapatos nuevos salgo con toda mi ilusion esperando que alguna historia de cuento de hadas se desenvuelva ante mis ojos. Bueno ya, ya se... vaya tonteria no? Llamalo como quieras, asi soy yo. Pecare de soñadora pero no me quedo dormida dejando que la vida pase... y como dijo Calderon "La vida es sueño, y los sueños..sueños son".
Razonando estas cositas y mirandolas de forma realista y estadisticamente hablando, supongo que tengo las mismas posibilidas de conocer a españoles-kiwis o españoles-australianos en el super un miercoles como el viernes por la noche en el bar. De hecho por los notables efectos que tiene el alcohol en sangre seguro que se entera la gente de mucho mas en el super que en bar...
Enfin, dejando eso por ahora.. y volviendo al tema de los sueños y los romances de pelicula.. pues que conste que aunque no me molen nada las cursilerias, en estos momentos la idea no me desagrada.. y bueno, los sueños ahi estan no se pueden parar ni excusar ni los deseos tampoco.

;)

Smarty

Spanish dinners... PAELLA (y pa nosotros tambien!!)

2005-04-29T15:16:00.000+12:00

This was taken on Sunday night with our aussie-italian friend after about 7 days of wines and dinners non stop... geez, what a bad influence! As if we needed any more encouragement to open the bottle of red!

Foto tomada el doming por la noche con nuestro coleguita australiano-italiano tras siete dias ininterrumpidos de cenitas y vinitos.. vaya vicio! La verdad que no necesitamos animos para abrir botellas de vino, nosotras solitas ya nos bastamos... pero si encima nos animan pues asi nos pasa..

ps - havent finished the assignment but will do over the weekend (!?) hopefully...
pd - no he terminado el trabajo todavia, pero espero hacerlo durante el finde..

Smoke-free two months today! Dos meses sin fumar..

2005-04-28T13:12:00.000+12:00

Fue una resolucion de fin de año y aqui estoy ahora...
2 meses sin fumar.. y mi madre la mama mas feliz con esta noticia.

It was a New Years resolution and here I am now...
2 Months smoke-free today :)
And my mother, the happiest mum in town with this news!!

;)

Update on the Assignment.. el trabajo de la uni

2005-04-28T13:08:00.000+12:00

La verdad que no me esta llendo bien el trabajo de aleman que tengo que entregar... el nivel exigido es muy alto y haciendolo por correspondencia pues no me entero de mucho en estos capitulos del libro...

The assignment is not going so good... the level is actually really hard for a begginers course and doing it extramurally in this case is proving to be a real mission...

24 Hours - Countdown starts now... Wednesday 5pm

2005-04-27T16:58:00.000+12:00

:S

My German assignment needs to go in the post before COB
tomorrow Thursday afternoon (ie before 5pm).
Starting the 6 week assignment in a few minutes...
will post a photo 'post-assignment-completion'
so you can get a feel for the tight deadlines
and uni lifestyle at this end...

Tengo que completar mi trabajo de aleman para la uni
antes del cierre de negocios mañana jueves por la tarde
(antes de las 5pm de mañana).
Comenzando el trabajo de mes y pico en breves minutos....
pondre una fotillo tras terminar el assignment
para que obtengais una imagen fiel del estilo de vida universitario....

ps - don't expect literal translations, remember I only have 24 hours to complete my german assignment and I'm tight for time!!!!! (ie: gimme a break)

***************

English and Spanish Blog?

2005-04-26T08:54:00.000+12:00

English

After doing some research online looking up bilingual blogs I am starting to become tempted to write in both English and Spanish to maintain good language skills and also to allow spanish speakers to have a read of Smarty's adventures in NZ...
I may just give it a go... await feedback and then decide. What do YOU think?
Any comments can be posted here or to: smarty.silvia@gmail.com!

****************************

Spanish

Tras hacer algo de investigacion online buscando blogs bilingues, me tienta la posibilidad de escribir en ambos ingles y español para mantener en buen estado ambos idiomas y tambien para permitir que gente de habla hispana lean sobre las aventuras de Smarty en Nueva Zelanda...
Tal vez lo intente... observe las respuestas de los lectores y entonces me decida si proseguir.
Y TU que opinas?
Puedes escribir un comentario adjunto a este post or enviarlo a smarty.silvia@gmail.com!

Partying & Insomnia... hand in hand?

2005-04-24T12:36:00.000+12:00

This week has been a non-stop week that has brought back my insomnia once more...
Are going out and insomnia closely linked... or is it simply my paradigm to go out four nights in a row, have time to 'sleep em off' each night, yet wake up after about five hours sleep each attempt? Porque no concibo el sueño?? What happened to those times when I'd sleep for 10 hours straight???? Have been making an extra effort to eat more as my body is fading away with this lack of rest, yet I know I have a major sleep debt pending..
Last night (indeed, finally stayed in) concluded at 5am after lying in bed watching 'Love Actually'... you know there's a problem when you need to recurr to watching a movie (and ALL the special features, trailers etc) by yourself and yet it gets to 5 and you still have trouble making Zs...

Match-making gone wrong

2005-04-22T12:57:00.000+12:00

at a bar..

guy: hi! you having a good night?
smarty: yeah.. not bad
guy:you look like you're enjoying yourself
smarty: that's why I go out, yeah
guy: my friend over there... he's really lonely. I'm trying to find him someone nice so he'll cheer up a bit.
smarty: uh... ok, I'm sorry but I can't help you with that..
(few questions fly back and forth.. what do you do etc etc)
guy: well.. to tell you the truth... I'm really glad you guys didn't hook up. You seem really nice and he's only looking for a good time.
smarty: (!!) thanks for your honesty with this... in any case he's lucky to have you looking out for him... have a good night.

Absolute Success!!

2005-04-19T16:21:00.000+12:00

The poem "Little Girl" has been an absolute success.... that is:
I have been blown away by both the amount of time spent on the in-class critique and by the comments my peers made on it. There are aspects obviously that need to be worked on but overall it appeared to have the desired effect and I'm really happy with myself on this effort!

My Best Friend...

2005-04-16T21:15:00.000+12:00

The day finally came, today Aaron moved out leaving my room empty and my heart thumping as it does. But somehow, I have a feeling this is not the end but more like it's the beggining of something different for us.

I wrote this a while ago but it's so true and so inspiring that I thought it was time to share it.
Aaron, this one's for you babe. You'll always be my babe.

The Greatest Things

The day we met, how you blushed while I learned your name.
The first night you showed me you cared by holding my hand.
The things you told me and the things you kept to yourself which kept me wondering.
The hope you give me whenever you look at me with those dreamy eyes.
The trust we share regardless of being flawed.
The unbeatable beauty of your face when you tell me you love me.
The tears that come to my eyes when I think of what you mean to me.
The dreams we spoke of which are still there.
The rainy bus station which I was so happy to get to.
The awaited destination, YOU.
The person you were, the person you are, & the person you will be; because I love them all.
The difficulties which made us who we are, cause we wouldn't be the same without them.
The life I wanted, which you made possible.
The fun times we lived and the ones to come.
The bridges we built despite the barriers.
The wisdom that came with every discovery.
The renewed motivation you gave me to be the best person I can.
The forgiveness I didn't think possible.
The patience we showed, cause it served a purpose.
The thought that my life will never be the same through knowing you.
The words I write because of you.
The happiness you've brought to my life, which I can't put into words.
The freedom you've given me to be myself.
The passion you make me feel... for everything.
The crazy little things that made you fall in love with me.
The sound of your laugh.. the best sound in the world.
The fact that you were always there and always will be in some way.
The times you made me laugh.. the times you made me cry, cause they were all worth it.
The sight of you, no matter when or where...
The beach with you, never so complete before.
The blessed moments I have you in my life, if only I could freeze time or have you forever..
The knowledge you've shared with me in so many ways.
The encouragement only you could grant, no matter how little the strife or how big the worry.
The chance to be with you, no matter when or how.
The generosity you've shown me in every way.
The motivation you give me to make people laugh, so linked to your presence.
The luck of being in this space and time with you.
The touch of your skin.
The humbleness that sits in your character regardless how great the achievement.
The many talents which you uncover and inspire me to expand on.
The talents you have... so many to name and so little time.
The present of your ideas and thoughts, shared with me.
The growth we've been through.
The undeniable identities we now hold.
The understanding which you've always shown, no matter what.
The desire for your happiness above all, which will never die.
The people that make you happy, I can never be too thankful they're there.
The person you are, more wonderful by the minute.
The friendship we have, which no one else can have in this way.
The yearn for being better people which makes us even better people.
The gift in your smiles, your voice, your body, your movement, your hugs..
The kiss which I will keep forever.. all of them.
The kisses I could get from you until the day I die.
The desire for you to be happy whoever you're with.
The idea that you could be the one for me, and I the one for you.
The feeling that no matter what, everything will be alright.
The hugs I have for you, countless.
The time you have given me, priceless.
The love I have for you, endless.

The power of our love.. the most powerful thing in the world.

Smarty

2005-04-15T16:57:00.000+12:00

Each day is a new opportunity. Yesteday is over and done. Today is the first day of my future

Louise L. Hay

Useless existence and X File blabbering of a depressed psychoneurotic spanish kiwi solitary uni student

2005-04-15T01:23:00.000+12:00

Today I awoke after a combo of sleep and lapses of serious catchups with my friend Insomnia which lead to about three and a half hours sleep... to a new day where the only munchables and drinkables I had up to 8 pm were a grape and two coffees.

and now, Reflecting on tonight's events....

No need to mention that people are complicated and I haven't had much sleep with doesn't help.

But what is it with people being complicated? Like those people that go OUT of THEIR WAY (or anyone's for that matter) to be complicated? Last time I checked, the was no Bachelor in Complications available at uni, so where the hell do certain people get their skill of turning 'being complicated' into a fine art which you could almost pay an entry ticket to observe (like the zoo)?????

Tonight I really felt like I know a lot of people but like I don't really know anyone. I met up with spanish people, we debated politics in Spain, through to spirituality and religion, through to cultural differences, driving habits in different cultures, spanish food and festivities... it was intense and highly stimulating conversation, but it always leads back to Spain.
How it's so different, bla bla bla, same patterns repeat themselves over and over.
Why the fuck do we do this?
What's the point in talking so much about Spain? We know those things. We miss them. Yeah fine, but let's get over it. We're in NZ now. I really enjoyed it, and I need it like the air I breathe,
I fall ill when I away for too long... but there's something I need more.
Yes, there's something I need more, and no I'm not bullshitting.

I mean, after tonight, I question whether the reason we were talking was only the fact that we came from the same chunk of earth on the world. There was definitely some similar spiritual levels going on... but we still aren't showing who we are. Each person's defined issues, fears, desires and dreams remain hidden. You know they're good people (great people in fact) but you don't know their intentions in life, where they really came from (background) or where they are really going. You get some clippets of bits of stuff they choose to tell you and so you respond with some clippets of your own in some form of unstructured dialogue. You don't know what really worries them and why and you don't tell them and they don't ask. And so you have a very intellectually insightful stimulating and cultural time. But you don't show who you are. I don't like this part.

I just want to share who I am with a friend that accepts me for who I am and I will offer the same to that person. Someone that doesn't play any mind games and hide behind a mask. Life's too short for that sort of thing... I just want a good friend. Life sucks balls (meaning it really sucks) without great friends. I'm sick of this whole cultural dependency and yearns for living a spanish kiwi life. I can't do it anymore. I'M TIRED OF FIGHTING FOR SOMETHING WHICH ISN'T THERE. There IS NO possibility of achieving this utopia of a spanish kiwi life. Fuck it, maybe I should just go live in Italy and make a new life as SMartini. My whole life is a fricking identity crisis. I don't look spanish, I don't look kiwi and I don't know anybody else my age who is spanish and kiwi. What's more I feel like I hardly even know anyone full stop. The people I do know don't understand me. No one understands me. AAAgh!

Aside from all this stuff, as of half an hour ago I have a bad cold.
To those of you who I've seen recently who have complained about having a cold, rest assured: no, I haven't missed out. Colds transmit through breathing the same air, therefore the chances of me not enjoying a 'fun-loving-nose-dripping-vicks-n-scarf-wrap-with-lemon-drinks-experience' were as slim as Kate Moss on a fat day. Add that to the sleeping disorder, cultural identity and financial crisis, Aaron withdrawal sympton, no sock the same colour and it being bloody cold in wellington and it doesn't make for a happy smarty. However the argentinian dinner was great. (Thanks to Cordoba Nights which made my week!).

Apart from all this, my only other thing tonight was that I manaed to get on the wrong bloody bus home tonight and not realise until I was somewhere on bloody Mount Victoria (no idea where) and then had to walk for ages.
I'm not with it and didn't read the right number of the bus sign and then wasn't really paying attention to the fact that the bus had started its way up Mount Vic. (Another bus story to add, my god I'm getting a reputation for bus dramas aren't I?). I should really get some SERIOUS SLEEP. (The kind you wake up from ten hours later... ).

I'm off to sleep.

Love,

SmE... Smarty. XOXO

2005-04-14T16:58:00.000+12:00

Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle
Everything I do is stiched with its color.

W. Merwin

Friday Night Stories

2005-04-12T15:44:00.000+12:00

Well, what can I say.. I'd forgotten just how interesting stuff can get when you go out on a Friday night!! I think it's worth writing about, since it really left me thinking.

Dinner - IL CASINO (Il Crap'ino from now)

The night started at "Il Casino" restaurant... which I will now officially refer to as "Il Crap'ino".
Supposedly Wellington's finest restaurant, or in the top few.
We got there at 7, ordered the food at 8, large group about 13 people.
The staff took our drinks order, served us a bottle of a particular wine, then asked some other people and they agreed they wanted another one. Then they simply decided perhaps we were millionaires... so they went wacky about it and keep opening bottles of wine as we drank them.
Luckily someone in the group noticed and so asked the waitress what the deal was.
The response was along the lines of "we just keep it flowing" (you WHAT???!!!). Now, dearest bloggers just to clarify things, the wine in this restaurant aint exactly the cheap blubbly stuff.
Anyway we talked to the manager... and he was SO RUDE, you will not believe.
We wanted to know why we were getting served stuff we HADN'T ordered and the manager didn't even look at us in the face when he replied. ABSOLUTE ARRONGANCE!
He got really SHITTY (sorry, but it's the best word here) because we were complaining!
By this stage it was past ten and the food hadn't arrived (yes, we ordered at 8) so the wine consumption had gotten interesting (7 bottles? who really knows..?).
Finally our dinner was served at 11 pm (!@@#$%@#%).

NEVER AGAIN. What an arrogant snobby mean crusty old rip off artist that man is... if he treats all his clients like that he will not be in business for very long. If I were italian I'd be spewing to think that man is representing fine Italian Cuisine (I don't believe this makes justice).

PEOPLE! Please, I beg you to not let restaurant managers do this to you. NZ - you need to speak your thoughts and demand service. You need to stop taking second-best treatment and rip-offs with a smile on your face. YOU DESERVE BETTER - knock and the door shall open.
We have let them get away with it for too long.. so they have ended up thinking they are "inmhune" to complaints... that they can do whatever they want and be rude. ENOUGH!!!

That saying about 'the customer is always right'...does NOT apply there folks. In fact we didn't only not receive a satisfying apology, BUT we were treated as if we were a different class? like we were homeless or something. Well, Mister crapuccino manager... we have two words for him... "up yours"

The night continued on and we moved on to the next place, where I was greeted by someone I know (not quite friend I wouldn't say.. especially not with what happened afterwards).
He had asked me the day before whether I wanted to meet for salsa dancing and I said I was busy with a dinner but that I would perhaps get in touch after that, and coincidentally the dinner ended quite late but we bumped into him at the first place we went to.

Interestingly enough he was very very drunk (of his face) and I got the controlling husband "why haven't you called?" talk which followed by getting dragged on to a dance floor. Sometime afterwards (hopefully not long?) he starts going on and on and on letting out a whole load of senseless crap, along with what appeared to be some jealousness towards some other friends (! say what!?). I was quite puzzled at this whole drama that was unfolding before my eyes so I
sat down with him and asked him whether he was serious? and whether he had a problem... was it something I had done? and he was just a complete jerk... started to say it had all been a joke and then proceeded to start off again with the crap he had left off.
Then he repeatedly proceeded to ask me why I hated him and how he'd been waiting for me and "I'm still waiting for your call". AAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHH!!!!!!!!

Anyway after what seemed like a couple of lifetimes trying to get him off my case, some other guy came over and started getting on my case. The harassment was bizarre. I literally ended up losing it and telling them to F* off yet they persisted. What patience, I have never seen anything like it!!!

I ended my night by scurrying away and hopping into a cab. I think anyone would have done the same. The next day freak number 1 rang me and I didn't answer, but a couple of hours later I ran into him (damn) and he said he was 'very drunk the night before la la la' and I said 'well man, take it easy' inviting for a quick goodbye and then he texted me a couple of hours later (aargh! what exactly does he not understand!?).

Anyway no idea as yet of what I did for all this to happen, I can only be thankful that every Friday is not like that!

Little Girl

2005-04-11T22:07:00.000+12:00

She’s a thought that came by like a shooting star yet
it twinkled long enough for him to make her, just
like the sun made the light. Her new body
now sleeps deeply, rehearsing
for the dreaming she will do her whole life.

Dreams of nourishment he wont give her.
Dreams of the light he wont bring to her.
She will believe he doesn’t want to.
He will believe he doesn’t know how to.

They will never discuss it, yet they will always know it.

She will live dying for that which he denies her, forgetting to live.
He will live trying to forget what he’s not doing, living to forget.

Despite all; her smile will hold, mirror of cheeks and teeth reflecting his laugh.
Her eyes, copies of his iris, duplicate movements and lashes,
flashing love during the minutes he’s there.
Her hate, a candle burning against the gust of his being. The gust of her origins.
His presence, a glimpse of light making her forget the moments
of absence.

Through days, weeks and years of hunger and darkness… she will grow
with the light in other eyes, the words of other minds, the smiles of other faces
always thinking of the day when a shooting star will go by.

A day when she
She will feed the soul and heat the life of a new dreamer.

Creative Writing Portfolio (Draft) Smarty, 11 April

2005-04-09T11:31:00.000+12:00

Out n About Once More

2005-04-08T16:14:00.000+12:00

After a period of Smarty-Hibernation of a month and a half, finally last Tuesday I have left the world of stay-home-mania to return to the world of the socially-living.
The whole thing with Steve dying requires time... but slowly getting used to things being different now and dealing with losing someone so important in my life. That plus a nice heap of other emotional pressures had almost completely taken away my willingness to go out and be active and do stuff. But that time is now over.

As of Tuesday this week I have turned a leaf and started (i feel) a new phase.
I admit I don't have much time for blogging due to my study commitments, my lastest mp3 conversion time-consuming stuff ups, fighting trojans and the other 1912 found spyware brats that were taking over my pc, planning with outlook once more, using my new virtual makeover software, talking on the phone, stealing Downie's socks, giving the cat attention so he'll eat something, drawing (a recent trend), playing Theme Park on PSX2, reading (The Celestine Prophecy), listening to mum's long long (i mean long) voicemails... anyways, I shall end this now before the world knows every detail of my existence..

So, my life has completely changed about a dozen times if not more in the last 6 weeks.
My flatmate was going to move out, then i was going to move out, then Aaron moved in, then Aaron was going to move out, then my flatmate was going to move to the flat next door which became available so me and Ary were going to flat together, then the landlord said the flat next door wasn't available after all so we ended up at square one again. Now Ary's moved out but the stuffs still here. My desk has been in my room, in the lounge and in my room again...
Anyway it would probably take me a year to update people of all the changes that were going to happen and then didn't ... now we're back to trying to work out the living arrangement as we are, just me and Melita. Problem is we are home (both) a lot of the time, doing work and study and we distract each other from our work but we are trying to work out new ways of avoiding this. (The out of hours chat-jar instead of swear-jar, allocated goss-times, and i guess the mute-game and smoke signal communication will be next to keep things short and sweet..).
Big Problema number two is the phone. That blasted one line is not enough. We are both always wanting the phone and wanting the net and we just can't get enough of the bloody thing and we only have one line and no jetstream.

Anyway enough domestics for now... this place is starting to take on a call centre feel which is all good cause the scene is livening up and at least i'm starting to live (in a fuller sense) more again.

Coming soon... a NEW and FUN monthly event which i will be organising.. will be writing a post on this soon. It will be a varied thing each month, from movie nights to bush walks to dress up parties to beach nights to film archive or museum visits to all sorts of other fantabulous themes and anyone can come along and bring someone along too!! I will be organising the first one in May and so I will simply email the details to the people I know and go from there! The photos of these do's will go on the photo blog (of course!)

Anyway must get back to writing the Method (lab report) on an experiment we did the other day for Psych...

;)

Extreme Makeovers: If Bush were a Granny.

2005-04-06T19:36:00.000+12:00

2005-04-05T14:10:00.000+12:00

I have Gmail invites available - if you would like one flick me an email at:
smarty.silvia@gmail.com and I'll fwd you an invite!

Faulty Fans, "The Grudge" and Scary Showers

2005-03-24T13:53:00.000+12:00

How the hell did all this come about? Well, our bathroom fan wasn't working, so the landlord came over and cut a hole in the bathroom ceiling. Yes, charming.
Anyway, at first it was like alternative decor, and after 8 weeks it just became part of the bathroom. Cause indeed our dearest Kevin completely forgot about us and finishing the job. And to be honest, it wouldn't have been an issue if we hadn't watched the movie The Grudge last week (freakiest thing since mullets) and straight after the movie our friend Richie visited our alternative lavatory and yelled out "of course, you guys just HAD to have a hole in the ceiling didn't you?". The rest is hystory, showers have never been the same. You're there trying to think about whether the Laureth Sodium Sulphate in shampoo is a health hazard or trying to remember the words to 'Delilah' and suddenly you look up and you see it. Nothing. Just a hole. But then you remember the movie and it's like 'uhm, maybe there's a waifer thin gymnastics champion japanese girl up there?'. And the rest is also hystory.. I know it probably doesn't sound scary but just watch the movie and then tell me whether you could have a hole in the ceiling at your place. Let's say it's a good way of saving water.. the showers were getting a lot shorter.
A couple of days after seeing the movie I got the landlord to come finish the job.

Movies are just movies but i gotta say now the hole's gone... s'all good mate.

2005-03-21T21:49:00.000+12:00

Puzzled Rob; "Is POPCORN really the author's surname or is this a con??"

2005-03-20T16:31:00.000+12:00

"The unconscious is the true psychical reality;
in its innermost nature it is as much unknown
to us as the reality of the external world."

Sigmund Freud 1856-1939

Creative Writing Portfolio: Storm

2005-03-18T14:05:00.001+13:00

As the sun hides behind a fluffy gown
Moisture inebriates the air
Caressing all
The hangover a scent of damp earth
followed by a dull
Faded horizon.
A muggy cloak surrounds all, hiding
What is yet to come
The skies debate
Through fire and ice, fighting in a battle
Of no winners, unleashing the roars
Of nature through pitter-patters
Unfolding
Like a thousand feet running
towards freedom; destined
To quench the thirst of the ground,
Leaving a clean and fresh world as they journey.

Smarty, March 2005

**************************

(/font)

FOR SALE

2005-03-17T15:42:00.000+13:00

I give up. Pablo, you were right. I'm just too lazy to get on the damn thing.
Now that I am student I need the bucks so I've bought myself a tennis racket and I want to sell the treadmill to compensate for those tennis-invested kiwi dollars. I figure if I don't end up using the tennis racket then I can easily hide it and forget about it. At least I can use the damn thing to fluff up the pillows in the lounge.
But the treadmill is an evil bastard. It reminds me what a slack ass I am everytime I walk through that door. I can't hide the stupid thing so it makes me feel guilty day in day out. It doesn't need to make any noise. It just sits there occupying 140x60x160 reminding me that I'm not using it. Why is it so hard to do something about it? I don't think it's hard, it's just not me. Getting the gloves on and wacking the boxing bag was me.
Nowadays, I use a most sophisticated new method to keep a bit fit (note: a bit. Not moderately or reaching average standards). No, there's no Atkins diet involved. I manage to run late every single time I need to get out of the house, no matter how urgent or important the appointment. And not just a bit late but ridiculously, outrageously delayed. One way of achieving this is through talking on the phone, the other is getting caught up with esthetics. I find that both work wonders. And this leads to a systematic repetitive and consistent tendency of sprinting to the bus stop and all the other places I need to carry myself to. Doesn't matter who's around, how much noise my shoes are making as they hit the asphalt, the funny looks I'm getting or whether my jacket's only half on. I run for my damn life. And I seem to feel quite revived after these experiences. My heart actually gets pumping and wonders what on earth's gotten in to me.

Anyway, attempting to exercise like normal human beings my age (ie: not running all over town like an eight year old) I expect the tennis thing will do the trick. For now, take advantage of this special offer and flick me an email if you would like to purchase this treadmill.
IT'S LIKE BRAND NEW. Only been used on very rare occasions.
It looks great either in a garage, a lounge or a bedroom. I found that you can also use it as a temporary coat hanger (tested) and family and friends find it incredibly amusing to have a go on it. A must for any social gathering!

Now, if you would like to know more about how to slim your way to firm sexy thighs and buns and hang your ironing all through using the same amazing machine then send me an email today for your almost brand new exercise machine which could lead you to a new hot sexy body if you really want it. This means no gym membership fees for a slim and toned body PLUS a place to hang your ironing.

If you order now I'll make you a flat white when you come over to collect it. If you're quick enough there'll be some Tim Tams too. Price is negotiable depending whether you bring some more Tim Tams.

Tata!

Smarty

Creative Writing

2005-03-17T09:26:00.000+13:00

As one of my elective papers at uni, I have chosen a paper called Creative Writing. The first part of my course is putting together a poetry portfolio, with first drafts and revised poems. The second part will be putting together another portfolio, this time on short stories. Exciting stuff!! I'm so happy I chose this subject as I am having the greatest time putting together stuff (as you can probably gather!).
So, I thought it would be a great idea if I post the stuff I'm writing for Creative Writing on the blog. After all, what are blogs for???
So, you can expect some pieces of my creative writing work at uni to be posted every now and then parallel to what I'm doing, so I'll aim for one every week.

Smarty

2005-03-15T09:38:00.000+13:00

With our Thoughts we Create the World

Buddha

The secret to making bread

2005-03-12T16:47:00.000+13:00

One of the things I really miss about Spain is the bread. Over here it just doesn't taste the same, and it doesn't really hold the importance it does in Spain.
So, with the hope I could get an equivalent to spanish bread through home-cooking I have invested some time and efforts to make my own, but the results have been pretty mediocre :(
So, I guess I have yet to discover how to make great 'light and fluffy' bread.
Ie: - this is not really an 'informative' post with the secret to bread making, but a written declaration that I actually have no idea on how to make bread above the 'very average' category. So if you happen to have any suggestions they are most welcome. Otherwise I will keep trying hoping for 'improvement through time and practice'.

Smarty ;)

Balcony Documentary: SIY (See It Yourself) at Shooters Bar (Wellywood)

2005-03-10T09:51:00.000+13:00

Traditional Balcony (TB) as seen at Shooters.
(Figure A)

Balcony definition as per www.heritageinspection.com:
A railed platform projecting from the face of a building above the
ground level, accessed from an entrance from the building interior.

Fig. A

Balcony Documentary (continued)

2005-03-10T09:49:00.000+13:00

The builders swap the building plans for a Cosmo and
stuff up the whole Balcony Concept (see definition
above) by doing something we can only class as a
UB (Useless Balcony) or a WTF!? (what the f***!?).
See Figure B for details.

Perhaps Cosmo said balconies are no longer in so they
decided to give things a 'twist???

Fig. B

See these balconies 'live!' by visting the Shooters
courtyard in Wellington.

*************************************************

This photographic documentary is proudly brought
to you by TBA (Traditional Balconies Asociation)
Please support your local Traditional Balconies
construction by including doors on your building plans.
Thank you.
*************************************************

Getting older and wiser (?) 8th March Reflections

2005-03-08T09:26:00.000+13:00

Not that I like beating myself up over stuff, but sometimes I can be a complete moron. There is a lot of good stuff about me also, so the million dollar question stands: Is it worth it? Am I worth it?
No, this aint no "L'oreal"' ad; what I mean is should I be forgiven every time I show that not-so-great side or should I be placed in the no-good basket.

Risking using my amateur marketing skills I guess I have no choice but to support the home team, cause the truth is that I really do try hard even though I don't get perfect results 100% of the time. (Something you can expect from all of us mortals, which by the way does frustrate the hell out of me at times). I guess it's not about being perfect and completely eliminating 'the moron' inside, but about cutting out (even if this happens little by little) the not so great side and replacing it (yes! sometimes we forget this part..) with something even greater, in order to make us better people than we were before.

I mean, that's what we should all be aiming for; right? Being better people, day by day. Cause good people attract LOVE. Think about it, it's going to make no difference whatsoever when you're on your death-bed as to what the sharemarket's doing, how many bathrooms your house has or the bucks in your bank account. What will you want to have when the time comes for you to leave this planet?
I think LOVE would be the answer, even if you don't know it yet, but deep down this is what lies inside every one of us; a constant yearn for love. At the end of the day, everything we do in this planet is actually for love; even though this may be disguised in many ways, and we all show it differently.

Think about it:
People that seek acceptance (love) through doing or having whatever is 'correct' for the people around them.
(these people are really seeking love).

People that change their bodies through surgery or intensive diet programmes, seeking the body that will allow them to have the people they want in their lives, to be treated as they want. They believe by changing their body they can somehow 'trick' others (that they can 'trick' love into their lives).

People that just work, work, work their life away. Their motive is to earn as much money as they possibly can. Because money 'guarantees' your financial security. Perhaps secretly they believe it WILL bring them love. So if your wife and kids hardly know your face when you walk through that door then it doesn't matter toooo much, cause you have so much money you can get another wife (whichever one you want) anytime you please, so no stress. And if they complain your not around, you just come up with the 'i'm earning the buck' line and they'll have to shut up.

PEOPLE, what is wrong with you? When did numbers become more important than words, work more important than play, stress more important than hugs? You only have a limited time here, so for GOD's sake, PLEASE start thinking about what is REALLY important, not what 'should' be important. If you need to tell your 'cool' superficial friend to get stuffed then maybe here is your chance to show some character and start deciding for yourself what IS cool, and what's NOT. And whoever likes what they see will truly love you for who you are.
So stop kidding yourself and start getting real with life and people. Only then will your life be real.

I've completely gone off the initial subject, but in summary... even though I have been known to stuff things up, the will to improve is always there and the love is also. So please bear with me as I bear with you, let us grow together as 'continually improved' persons and let us have patience and forgiveness with one another.
Cause there really is a lot of love in this heart of mine.. don't let it go to waste.

Love,

Smarty

***************************************************************

In loving memory of Steven J. F.

2005-03-02T14:59:00.000+13:00

Dear Steve,

I would lie if I said you were like a father to me.
Truth is, the word father has never meant much to me. You were much more than that.
You were my friend.
You made the effort were my father didn't and still hasn't. And most importantly, you made my mum happy. I will never be thankful enough for this.

Mum, the centrepiece of my life. Me, the twinkle in her eyes. You, the man that changed the unchangeable and gave mum a life again.
You changed her, therefore you changed me, and in some way you turned it into a family.
But 'Mum and Steve', are never to be again. And only now, do I realise how much you meant to me. Forgive me, for I know that you cannot hold resentment.

Know that I loved you even though I never told you.

How was I to know that your death would come at this time, or that it would bring such anger, fear and sorrow? I wasn't. Twas only last week you phoned at 6 am waking me up, asking why I wasn't already roller-blading along the wharf to work; while mum chuckled in the background knowing I was still struggling to open my eyes.

Your wit will never be forgotten. Neither will all the times we shared.
May your soul be blessed with peace. Your spirit will never die, and neither will your memory in us. But still I ask of you to give me some sign that you are ok wherever it is you are. For images of what may have happened; of your body rocked in that vehicle while your life escaped instantly wake me at night. Please send me a sign so I may sleep through the night knowing that you have gone but that all is ok because your soul is at rest. Maybe then I will stop waking at 4.08am to take another sleeping pill. I hold only together through hope. But I cannot cease to ask of you to send me a sign.

I shall remember that car at Otaki beach while you would teach me to drive, not the blood on the steering wheel, or the image of what was left of it after that terrible wave of tragedy that has deprived us of your presence. The howl of mother and daughter when this vision was made real still echoes in my eardrums. A lottery was played and you had all the tickets.. you had no chance darling. We knew right away when we saw... you had no chance of survival.
Still in awe from the scene and after touching your cold arms and holding your lifeless hands it hit me that you really were no longer there. I saw in your blue eyes, you were not there. That was no longer Steve.
For the first time in my life I have seen a body and nobody at the same time. Life is chaos after this news that has rocked our home, family and friends. This news that will forever change my life. Your tools still spread out through the garage floor waiting for you to come back. The truck still parked in the drive. The light under the house still on waiting for you to finish the plumbing. The corned beef in the fridge.
I hear mum telling your corpse that you must come back, to finish the bathroom, that the corned beef is in the fridge darling. Come back to me. She asks me whether your body just moved, but we both know the answer to that.

I cannot go down, we cannot stop living. I must push mum to go on.
I tell her 'I need you mum', 'you must be strong, because I need you'. What else is a daughter to do? The thought that if mum hadn't been on the phone, she would have been in that car makes me feel queezy. I must THANK whatever or whoever that mum is still here.
The thought that 5 seconds before or after and perhaps this post would not be written, these tears would not be rolling.. this thought has been and gone.

It must have been your time my friend, although no time would ever be any good. Thank you for your 54 years of wonder. Thanks to everything and everyone that made them possible. Thank you for being an important part of my life, and letting me be a part of yours.

With LOVE,

Silvia

2005-02-25T00:13:00.000+13:00

Whoever you are, whatever you do..
Life is about giving, not 'get'ting.
Just so you know... the more love you give, the more love you get.
It can only work if it's going both ways, so don't stop the flow.
And LIVE TODAY, cause you always only have TODAY.

Love,
Smarty

Absolutely Positively Wellington (on a sunny day)

2005-02-15T09:34:00.000+13:00

I believe it would be right to (in all fairness) make a mention of the beautiful weather we've had over the last 3 weeks or so (especially), which is also providing us with a tan! (not the one out of the jar either!).
The beauty of Wellington is that it really makes you appreciate the fine weather (by dishing out plenty of wind and cold southerlies most of the year)... so when the fine weather comes, us Wellingtonians love it a lot more than many other places where fine weather is a 'run-of-the-mill' thing. In my experience, 1 weekend of beautiful and hot weather here in Wellie is probably as satisfying as a whole summer elsewhere (if not more)... however, this is only in my experience.
(Given that since September 2002 it seems I have missed out on summer almost entirely given the weather we've had!).

I guess you get used to almost anything given the right amount of time, but developing a greater appreciation for something is the great gift for all our patience and endurance.
(ie: broken umbrellas, colds and flues, washing blown away from the line, having to tie your hair back or not wear lipstick, other 'gone with the wind' hats and accesories, wearing a coat in January scenarios, etc etc.)

When summer does arrive, I think we do enjoy it more in this place.. strange conclusion to this post, but these are my findings.

Good night, afternoon, morning... have a great day, week, month.. SUMMER.
But don't put your coat away just yet, you never know what tomorrow might bring!
Although I'm hopeful that for now some more sun is underway...

Smarty

;)

Lethal Weapon 5

2005-02-15T09:22:00.000+13:00

Yes, it's summer. And Lethal Weapon is out! This is where I'd paste a whole lot of pictures of feet and faces and you get to guess what belongs to who... kinda like in Woman's Day with the celebrity frocs and shoes.. ha ha. Anyway this photo will need to remain a mystery (I really wouldn't mess with LETHAL WEAPON if I were you.. it could be a bloodbath waiting to happen)

;)